Despite speaking about most of my behaviors over the years. I’ve never shared my sex addiction story on this Podcast before. In this episode, I walk listeners through my journey front to back. My childhood... Continue

Betrayed Partners often say, “You’re not doing enough in your sex addiction recovery.” There’s a reason why betrayed partners say this, and you need to understand how to answer this question if you hope to... Continue

Do you trust yourself to stay sober? I don’t, and this podcast explains why. I do believe I will find a way to maintain my sobriety from sex addiction. And, I believe you can too.... Continue

It’s no mystery that integrity is one of the most important pieces in both sex addiction recovery and healing your marriage after infidelity. But what is integrity, and how do you repair the damage caused... Continue

The sex addiction relapse rate is believed to be between 67 and 80 percent at 5 years. That means only 20-30% of men can avoid relapse. Why aren’t we talking more about this?! In this... Continue

Healing your marriage after sexual betrayal can be a mess. Sometimes it feels like you have a plan… other times it feels like you have no plan at all. In this episode, Tesa Saulmon (Certified... Continue

I’m not a big fan of the term “sex addiction.” While some men fall into this category, a lot of men don’t. Therefore, calling any guy who has been unfaithful multiple times an “addict” is... Continue

Imagine having something holding you back in your sex addiction recovery that you’re unaware of… In this episode, my guest Shirley Lytle (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) educates listeners on how to spot and manage “complex... Continue

Are you being honest about your sex addiction? Honest with your wife? Your Therapist? Yourself? The bigger question is, can you be honest? While people call this a “sex addiction,” in my groups, only 10-20%... Continue

Successful men are often “highly sensitive people.” And, the sad part is that they have no idea. I myself am a highly sensitive person, as are most successful entrepreneurs. Our sensitivity is a superpower. However,... Continue

In a hyper sexual world, why do some men act out and others don’t? The Answer: For sex addicts… It’s worth it. Crazy right?! Well, it's less crazy when you learn WHY they act out.... Continue

Many sex addicts are not in good recovery. But it’s not always their fault.  A “deficit” is when something critical is missing. In terms of sex addiction, a deficit describes a critical element of recovery... Continue

You need a stance on pornography. Is it okay or is it not ok? If you don’t have a stance, you’ll likely relapse. Sex addiction and porn addiction recovery plans need to be crystal clear.... Continue

It’s easy to get stuck in the betrayal healing process. It’s hard, confusing, emotional, and ever-changing. While recovering from sex addiction can have its own challenges, relational recovery can often be much more challenging. Yes,... Continue

It’s unfortunate how many guys don’t know what a good sex addiction recovery plan looks like. Their long-term sobriety and the health of their marriage are threatened as a result. In this episode, I review... Continue

“Check-Ins” are a common thing after sexual betrayal and infidelity. They are intended to rebuild safety and trust. But they can also result in arguments and disconnection. In this episode, I am joined by Dr.... Continue

Ever notice how some parts of your sex addiction just stop, and others seem to stay on your mind? Some might be addictive, others might be sexually compulsive. Some of them may just come down... Continue

Narcissism is a word you’ll hear quite a bit these days. And, it’s often brought up around men struggling with a sex addiction and chronic cheating. But there’s a difference between narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)... Continue

There’s a difference between sobriety and recovery when it comes to sex addiction. A big difference. You’ve probably seen the stats that relapse is common. My belief is that this is because most men are... Continue

Tammy Gustafson has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to betrayal trauma and healing marriages after infidelity. She just released her new book, Broken to Brave. You can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/aQqYtaV... Continue

It’s unfortunate… But your wife, family, and faith alone are not enough to stop your sex addiction. If they were, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. The men in my groups who are the... Continue

In this episode, Michelle Edsall joins me in a discussion on “good recovery” and how sex addicts can show betrayed partners that they are putting in the work. We talk about common triggers and questions... Continue

We all know that connection and peer-support are the most critical elements in recovery from sex addiction. Despite going to meetings, not all men are actually connecting or receiving peer-support. This does NOT mean that... Continue

Sure, you’ve gone through the basics. But it was probably back when your sex or porn addiction was first discovered. The truth is, it's hard to digest and implement everything correctly when you’re first discovered.... Continue

Have you ever heard someone say: “I can’t wait to stop eating healthy.”“I can't wait to stop going to the gym.”"I can't wait to stop brushing my teeth.” No! Because these things are important. So,... Continue

You would think that experiencing infidelity would decrease the chance that you would be unfaithful… But this isn’t always the case. In fact, being betrayed can lead to trauma that could then cause you to... Continue

If you acted out sexually at your place of work or during business travel, it’s common for betrayed partners to feel unsafe when it comes to your career and travel. Many men recovering from sex... Continue

Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works. Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes... Continue

What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be? This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I... Continue

In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery. As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and... Continue

In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse. It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But,... Continue

Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone... Continue

Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem. Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you... Continue

Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it. Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and... Continue

It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?” No… I... Continue

This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family. Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you... Continue

Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex. But, where do these traits come from? I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems... Continue

When it comes to sex addiction… your “why” matters. It exposes the perceived value of the behavior that you’re chasing. In my opinion, you cannot be in good recovery until you understand what it is... Continue

Sobriety and recovery are two different things. Sobriety is needed before you can truly recover. But can sobriety alone take you the distance? Marnie Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee. She... Continue

12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy. Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.... Continue

Yes, there’s the sex addiction, the compulsive sexual behavior, and… there’s the lying. Deceptive sexuality needs to be addressed in addition to your sex/porn addiction. Cheryl Camarillo and I attended training together at The Institute... Continue

Have some unwanted sexual behaviors stopped, while others keep nagging at you?Is it possible you’re missing the reason why you act out? What if you’re using the wrong sex addiction treatment strategies?What if each acting-out... Continue

Sex and Porn Addiction recovery is complex and multifaceted. Add the betrayed partner's experience, and you have an even more challenging situation. Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein wrote a book called Finding the Way Through.... Continue

While 12-step was never really my thing… One thing I did take from it was the 3-circle sobriety plan. Sex addiction is an interesting addiction because the definition of sobriety changes from person to person.... Continue

It’s unanimously agreed (and the research supports it) that peer support and connection with other addicts is the best treatment strategy for sex addiction. It's PEER support… Not just going to meetings. You need to... Continue

Is your recovery group actually a recovery group?Is the group too big?Are you getting individualized feedback?Do you enjoy your time with your group and look forward to the meeting? Just because you are going to... Continue

Even the best communicators will be challenged when recovering from sexual betrayal. Fear, anger, resentment, injustice, a lack of trust… This is not a great container for grounded conversation. But this is reality, and you’re... Continue

Are you monitoring the wrong things? Often, I find men are too focused on the behaviors rather than the cause of their sex addiction. Recovery is about change… Not just avoiding unwanted behavior. In this... Continue

Is it defensiveness? Or, is it a deficit? Understanding this could make a huge difference in improving your communication as a couple when recovering from betrayal trauma and infidelity. We all know that being defensive... Continue

Financial success and recovery are two different things. Often, the things that made you money may be some of the same things that caused your sex addiction. This doesn’t mean that you need to stop... Continue

Coping mechanisms have the potential to ruin your life. But changing them can be difficult if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it. In the addiction space, you will hear professionals talk about the power... Continue

Candice Christensen is well known for her ability to use Internal Family System (IFS) with both Sex Addicts and Couples to help them navigate the root cause of the sexually compulsive behavior. I personally believe... Continue

Are you an addict or a selfish womanizer? Historically, it’s been said that you are either one of the two. But, is it really only limited to these two options? What if you’re neither?What if... Continue

The truth is… recovering from sex addiction is hard. And, healing your marriage is even harder. In this episode, we give it to you straight (no sugar coating). Jackie Pack is a Certified Sex Addiction... Continue

Sex addiction is classified as a “process addiction.” This is important as your treatment strategy may need to change depending on the thought processes that you’re addicted to. In this episode, I discuss:Why the term... Continue

When most guys get into recovery for their sex or porn addiction, they think this will be out of their lives in a few months. While sobriety can be achieved, healing your marriage is a... Continue

Good life events may be more traumatic than the negative ones. Trauma comes from the conclusion you came to after the life event… Not the event itself. In this episode, I talk about how success,... Continue

Sex addiction will destroy your marriage. The only way back is to create a new marriage that will likely look much different than the old marriage. Your wife will be with a guy who she... Continue

The word “trauma” is often misunderstood. It’s not just abuse… Trauma can be a result of advice, mentorship, or any event for that matter. Parenting is not about being a “good” parent. Oftentimes, it's “good... Continue

In this episode, I’m joined by Jennifer Ginsberg, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. While most men have already heard about the “3-second-rule” and the “3 circles of sobriety”… they typically have not revisited these circles... Continue