In this episode, Michelle Edsall joins me in a discussion on “good recovery” and how sex addicts can show betrayed partners that they are putting in the work. We talk about common triggers and questions... Continue

We all know that connection and peer-support are the most critical elements in recovery from sex addiction. Despite going to meetings, not all men are actually connecting or receiving peer-support. This does NOT mean that... Continue

Sure, you’ve gone through the basics. But it was probably back when your sex or porn addiction was first discovered. The truth is, it's hard to digest and implement everything correctly when you’re first discovered.... Continue

Have you ever heard someone say: “I can’t wait to stop eating healthy.”“I can't wait to stop going to the gym.”"I can't wait to stop brushing my teeth.” No! Because these things are important. So,... Continue

You would think that experiencing infidelity would decrease the chance that you would be unfaithful… But this isn’t always the case. In fact, being betrayed can lead to trauma that could then cause you to... Continue

If you acted out sexually at your place of work or during business travel, it’s common for betrayed partners to feel unsafe when it comes to your career and travel. Many men recovering from sex... Continue

Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works. Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes... Continue

What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be? This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I... Continue

In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery. As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and... Continue

In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse. It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But,... Continue

Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone... Continue

Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem. Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you... Continue

Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it. Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and... Continue

It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?” No… I... Continue

This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family. Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you... Continue

Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex. But, where do these traits come from? I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems... Continue

In this episode, we introduce a unique approach to sex addiction treatment. Laura Childers uses neuromodulation to help sex addicts and betrayed partners get unstuck. Laura and I talk about how this treatment works, why... Continue

When it comes to sex addiction… your “why” matters. It exposes the perceived value of the behavior that you’re chasing. In my opinion, you cannot be in good recovery until you understand what it is... Continue

Sobriety and recovery are two different things. Sobriety is needed before you can truly recover. But can sobriety alone take you the distance? Marnie Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee. She... Continue

12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy. Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.... Continue

Yes, there’s the sex addiction, the compulsive sexual behavior, and… there’s the lying. Deceptive sexuality needs to be addressed in addition to your sex/porn addiction. Cheryl Camarillo and I attended training together at The Institute... Continue

Have some unwanted sexual behaviors stopped, while others keep nagging at you?Is it possible you’re missing the reason why you act out? What if you’re using the wrong sex addiction treatment strategies?What if each acting-out... Continue

Sex and Porn Addiction recovery is complex and multifaceted. Add the betrayed partner's experience, and you have an even more challenging situation. Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein wrote a book called Finding the Way Through.... Continue

While 12-step was never really my thing… One thing I did take from it was the 3-circle sobriety plan. Sex addiction is an interesting addiction because the definition of sobriety changes from person to person.... Continue

It’s unanimously agreed (and the research supports it) that peer support and connection with other addicts is the best treatment strategy for sex addiction. It's PEER support… Not just going to meetings. You need to... Continue

Is your recovery group actually a recovery group?Is the group too big?Are you getting individualized feedback?Do you enjoy your time with your group and look forward to the meeting? Just because you are going to... Continue

Even the best communicators will be challenged when recovering from sexual betrayal. Fear, anger, resentment, injustice, a lack of trust… This is not a great container for grounded conversation. But this is reality, and you’re... Continue

Are you monitoring the wrong things? Often, I find men are too focused on the behaviors rather than the cause of their sex addiction. Recovery is about change… Not just avoiding unwanted behavior. In this... Continue

Is it defensiveness? Or, is it a deficit? Understanding this could make a huge difference in improving your communication as a couple when recovering from betrayal trauma and infidelity. We all know that being defensive... Continue

Financial success and recovery are two different things. Often, the things that made you money may be some of the same things that caused your sex addiction. This doesn’t mean that you need to stop... Continue

Coping mechanisms have the potential to ruin your life. But changing them can be difficult if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it. In the addiction space, you will hear professionals talk about the power... Continue

Candice Christensen is well known for her ability to use Internal Family System (IFS) with both Sex Addicts and Couples to help them navigate the root cause of the sexually compulsive behavior. I personally believe... Continue

Are you an addict or a selfish womanizer? Historically, it’s been said that you are either one of the two. But, is it really only limited to these two options? What if you’re neither?What if... Continue

The truth is… recovering from sex addiction is hard. And, healing your marriage is even harder. In this episode, we give it to you straight (no sugar coating). Jackie Pack is a Certified Sex Addiction... Continue

Sex addiction is classified as a “process addiction.” This is important as your treatment strategy may need to change depending on the thought processes that you’re addicted to. In this episode, I discuss:Why the term... Continue

When most guys get into recovery for their sex or porn addiction, they think this will be out of their lives in a few months. While sobriety can be achieved, healing your marriage is a... Continue

Good life events may be more traumatic than the negative ones. Trauma comes from the conclusion you came to after the life event… Not the event itself. In this episode, I talk about how success,... Continue

Sex addiction will destroy your marriage. The only way back is to create a new marriage that will likely look much different than the old marriage. Your wife will be with a guy who she... Continue

The word “trauma” is often misunderstood. It’s not just abuse… Trauma can be a result of advice, mentorship, or any event for that matter. Parenting is not about being a “good” parent. Oftentimes, it's “good... Continue

In this episode, I’m joined by Jennifer Ginsberg, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. While most men have already heard about the “3-second-rule” and the “3 circles of sobriety”… they typically have not revisited these circles... Continue

Most guys want this to end at some point. The time spent in groups, therapy, couples therapy, couples groups… It's a lot. And, I see why guys feel like their life is being consumed by... Continue

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith join me on this episode to talk about how to create a thriving marriage after infidelity. There’s a ton of information out there about sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. But,... Continue

What is “good recovery,” and how do you know if you’re doing it? It’s a question that most guys often ask themselves. Which is unfortunate, because I feel like this is something that should be... Continue

Working with high-achievers and entrepreneurs, there are definite differences between these men and the general population. These differences require a unique approach when it comes to sex addiction recovery. Sex addiction is a process addiction,... Continue

The sex addiction field has the crisis phase dialed in. We know exactly what to do to save your marriage and begin the healing process. But… then what? This is where things start to get... Continue

Your Recovery, Her Recovery, Marital Recovery, Healthy Sexuality… How do you heal when this is so complex? Dr. Laney Knowlton is working hard to help couples tackle all of the aspects necessary to thrive after... Continue

You’ll see these ads for courses, books, and programs that claim to get guys sober from their sex or porn addiction in “30 days.” “The revolutionary formula to quit porn for good.” I’m sorry… but... Continue

Shame halts recovery. But, not all shame is created equal. Successful men are typically in positions of influence. They are either directly in charge of leading others. Or, they are admired and looked up to.... Continue

With a 64% chance of relapse… it’s clear that most sex addicts are missing something.  Changing the brain… This is probably the biggest void in the sex addiction field. What is actually required to change... Continue

What if everything you know about empathy is wrong? When I met Stevie Hall, I knew that she was onto something big. Stevie has been researching empathy and breaks it down into 3 parts that... Continue

I’m not that shocked at what these men are doing in their sex addiction… If anything, I’m shocked more men aren’t doing it. Women are raised looking for a partner who will preserve the sexual... Continue

Does abstinence work? What if we are too zoomed in on the unwanted sexual behavior? The challenge with the word “recovery” is that people assume there is a point where you become “recovered.” But, when... Continue

There’s this problem in the sex and porn addiction space… People treat it like a substance addiction, but it’s not. Recovering from a process addiction is very different from recovering from a chemical dependency on... Continue

Sexual betrayal will turn your wife's world upside down. She will experience significant trauma for years after she discovers your sex addiction.  Intrusive thoughts, graphic images of you with other women, total body trauma responses…... Continue

We claim to value monogamy and committed relationships… but, do our actions line up with that? Desire and attraction are baked into our DNA. Nothing you can do will change that. So, what are you... Continue

Dan Drake is well known in the sex addiction space for his workbook that men and women use during the “Full Therapeutic Disclosure” process. A full therapeutic disclosure is a process where the cheating partner... Continue

Your wife has the right to be mad about whatever she wants to be mad about. Comparing your acting out to another guy's acting out is irrelevant. The issue is the deception. Being married to... Continue

All wives wish they could help their husbands feel the pain of being betrayed. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to imagine the hurt that infidelity brings. In this episode, Vanessa Cardenas and I discuss... Continue

Sobriety and Recovery are totally different things. Sobriety is protecting yourself from unwanted behavior. Recovery is getting to a place where you no longer need protection. To me, most men are working a sobriety plan,... Continue

Has your wife asked you the dreaded question: “Are you even in good recovery?” Geoff Steurer is one of the most well-known names in the sex addiction and infidelity space. His podcast is one of... Continue