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– There is a reason

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– why you chose to act out the way

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– you chose to act out.

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– There’s a reason why the particular things you

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– did appealed to you. Right? The brain got

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– something from that.

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– And there’s these two things in the field

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– that just drive me crazy because it’s talked

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– about all the time and neither of them

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– are accurate a high percentage of the time.

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– Right? The two things you’ll hear is guys

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– will claim, and this we all call b

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– s on a ton. Right? The first one

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– we all know. Right? Guys will claim, oh,

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– we weren’t having enough sex. Right? We weren’t

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– having enough sex and so we went and

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– got sex elsewhere.

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– You are listening to the sex addiction podcast

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– for high achievers, business professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs.

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– This podcast is designed to apply sobriety and

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– recovery principles specifically to the mindset of the

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– high achiever. I’m your host, Roland Cochran, founder

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– of The Successful Addict, a recovery group for

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– high achieving men struggling with sex and porn

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– addiction. For more information about joining our group

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– or attending our next retreat, visit successfuladdict.com.

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– And now enjoy the rest of the episode.

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– There are two questions that betrayed partners will

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– ask their cheating husbands,

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– and you need to be able to answer

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– these two questions. They ask,

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– why did you do this? And how did

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– you let this happen? And you need to

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– answer those two questions for two reasons. One,

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– it’s the cornerstone of recovery. Right? So if

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– you can’t answer those two questions,

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– are you even in good recovery? Right? And

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– the second reason you need to ask those

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– questions is that’s the new trust. That’s the

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– new trust. Blind trust from a betrayed partner,

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– you’re never gonna get blindly trusted ever again.

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– Right? You have shown her brain, her nervous

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– system, that you can say one thing and

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– do another. You have shown her nervous system

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– that you can look her straight in the

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– eyes and tell her a lie. You have

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– shown her that you can gaslight her and

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– continue to manipulate her to make her feel

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– like she can’t trust herself and trust her

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– intuition.

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– Right? Her brain and her nervous system will

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– never forget that. Right? So blind trust is

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– out of the question. You’re never gonna have

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– that again. Now, my wife does trust me.

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– She does not blindly trust me, but she

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– trusts me to keep us safe. She trusts

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– me to preserve

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– the sexual energy for our marriage. She trusts

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– me to do that. And why does she

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– trust me? Because I can answer those two

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– questions. I can explain to her

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– why I did what I did and how

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– I let it happen. So So let’s talk

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– about those two things just very briefly. I

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– don’t wanna elaborate on this. I have plenty

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– of episodes on my podcast of elaborating around

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– the why and the how. But I wanna

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– just summarize

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– for you what answering those two questions looks

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– like. So let’s first stick with the why.

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– This one I’m not gonna talk a ton

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– about because I have tons of episodes. I

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– think just a couple weeks ago, Jeremy Mast

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– and I did an episode

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– on the why and discovering the why. Why

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– it’s hard to find and why it’s hard

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– to explain.

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– And really, it’s because there’s trillions of whys.

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– I think that’s the problem with sexual compulsivity

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– is there’s endless amounts of reasons as to

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– why a guy would choose

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– to sexually act out and choose to risk

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– his marriage, choose to risk his career, choose

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– to risk everything. Right? There’s there’s infinite number

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– of reasons. And I think that’s the challenge

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– is you need to find yours.

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– You need to find yours, and that can

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– be very, very difficult.

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– Recovery groups are without question the best way

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– because you’re increasing… Because of all the guys

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– in the room and the masterminding you’re able

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– to do, you could increase the likelihood of

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– you being able to tap into your exact

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– why because you’re in a group of a

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– bunch of other people who are discovering their

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– why. Right? But really, what’s the why look

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– like? In summary, here’s what I would say.

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– There is a reason

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– why you chose to act out the way

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– you chose to act out.

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– There’s a reason why the particular things you

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– did appealed to you. Right? The brain got

103
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– something from that.

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– And there’s these two things in the field

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– that just drive me crazy because it’s talked

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– about all the time and neither of them

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– are accurate a high percentage of the time.

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– Right? The two things you’ll hear is guys

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– will claim, and this we all call BS

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– on a ton. Right? The first one we

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– all know. Right? Guys will claim, oh, we

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– weren’t having enough sex. Right? We weren’t having

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– enough sex and so I went and got

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– sex elsewhere.

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– There’s teeny teeny weeny bits of truth to

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– that. I would say that that’s just not

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– true. I would say, could the romantic and

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– intimate connection not necessarily be there, and would

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– you go seek that out? Yeah. Humans have

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– the need for romantic and intimate connection, but

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– we don’t need to leave the marriage for

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– that. That’s something you’re supposed to stay, work

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– on, build with your wife. But, yeah, that’s

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– just such a silly excuse. I mean, the

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– truth is

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– men have been brainwashed and hypnotized into

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– needing all of the sex at these certain

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– numbers of frequency. And the fact of the

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– matter is we are having more sex now

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– than ever in history.

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– We know this, that actually, if we go

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– back just even a few hundred years, people

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– were not having daily sex. Right? The further

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– you go back, people were having sex quite

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– infrequently.

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– Right? But my point, you know, back then,

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– life was really hard and they had a

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– lot to do. They just didn’t have that

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– much time to have sex and think about

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– sex. But my point of of sharing that

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– is just that we know this is a

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– learned thing that people have learned to want,

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– that men have trained themselves through pornography consumption

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– and

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– socio cultural norms. We have the luxury of

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– time to think more and be attracted more.

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– But do you need to have sex at

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– this frequency? I don’t know if there’s evidence

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– to back that. Right? So that excuse, we

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– all know that that’s just such a silly

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– excuse. And let’s face it, it’s not your

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– wife’s job

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– in this world to satisfy you sexually. It’s

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– not her job. The other thing that we

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– hear quite often from the why is… And

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– this one is the one that drives me

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– crazy because it’s the one that’s dominated in

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– the field. And that’s this concept that men

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– are doing this

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– to regulate their emotions. Right? To regulate stress,

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– to not think uncomfortable thoughts, right, that they’re

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– using sex or pornography

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– to emotionally regulate. I just think that’s so

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– naive to keep it that limited. Listen, a

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– sexual interaction, you’re pursuing

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– a human interaction with another human. There is

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– a lot of things the brain can get

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– from a human to human interaction, plus a

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– human to human sexual interaction.

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– There is things that you can get from

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– this. Right? When a guy has an affair,

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– there is a conversation that’s being had with

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– that person. There’s a lot we can get

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– from that. Sure, we can get dopamine, but

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– there’s tons of other things that we can

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– get from that interaction as well. Right? A

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– novel sexual experience is there’s a lot going

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– on within the brain there, and I think

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– confining it to this guy is using this

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– to escape his emotions and he needs to

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– learn to emotionally regulate. I don’t think that’s

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– a slam dunk. I think that men can

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– learn to regulate their emotions through other ways

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– and not sex, and still have all the

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– desires to act out in the world because

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– the acting out was giving them way more

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– than just emotional regulation. Right? And that’s part

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– of discovering this why. Right? So I think

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– we need to go way deeper than the

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– sex. It’s why I don’t like to call

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– this a sex addiction because

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– frankly, what I find in my groups is

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– guys are getting way more from this than

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– sex and way more from this than a

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– release or an escape.

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– Right? They’re getting… Gosh, I mean, there’s so

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– many things. They’re getting a sense of power

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– and control over another individual. They enjoy taking

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– risks. They enjoy doing something bad. They enjoy

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– breaking the rules and doing the very thing

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– that they can’t do. Right? Sometimes that’s why

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– paid sex is so attractive is it’s such

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– a gross

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– off putting,

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– really just socially, it is probably the most

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– inappropriate thing that you can do to be

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– a married man paying for sex and hiring

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– a prostitute.

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– But the fact that it is the most

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– off putting thing that you can do is,

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– for some people, the perfect recipe for their

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– particular process addiction. Right? I have seen people

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– who do this because they have unmet human

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– needs in their twisted, delusional way. They feel

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– like using women or getting sexual interactions is

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– gonna somehow

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– resolve this unmet need that they have. I

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– mean, some people do it because it makes

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– them feel masculine, successful,

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– makes them feel like they’re being wanted, lusting

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– after women, or being lusted after women is

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– fulfilling. Again, it fulfills this image of themselves

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– and how they wanna be perceived. The list

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– goes on and on. I mean, truly trillions

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– of reasons as to why someone would do

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– this. But you do need to figure out

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– the answer. And I know that sounds frustrating.

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– Right? It’s like, man, I’m looking for a

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– needle in a haystack. In many ways, you

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– kind of are looking for a needle in

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– a haystack. Here’s the cool thing though, is

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– there are programs like mine where there are

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– systems

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– to narrow down your search radius. So I

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– would say by by the time the guys

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– are in my group for about four months,

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– you’re not looking for a needle in a

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– haystack. You’re looking for a needle in, I

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– don’t know, a a five gallon bucket. So

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– it’s still some work, but the likelihood of

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– you finding those Ys,

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– it’s highly more likely because you can you

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– can, you know, if you search in a

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– smaller area, you’re gonna increase the chances of

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– you finding it. But that’s the purpose. The

246
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– purpose of the why, and you’re gonna need

247
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– to be able to explain this to your

248
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– wife.

249
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– Why did you do the things that you

250
00:08:44.445 –> 00:08:46.519
– did? You need to explain to me what

251
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– your brain was getting from those things.

252
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– And again, she needs to know that so

253
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– she knows that you can keep your safe.

254
00:08:52.759 –> 00:08:54.600
– Right? That you know how to prevent this

255
00:08:54.600 –> 00:08:56.679
– from happening again. And the second reason is,

256
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– she needs to know why you did this

257
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– so that she can feel like

258
00:09:01.134 –> 00:09:02.735
– you’re a changed man and that this isn’t

259
00:09:02.735 –> 00:09:05.075
– gonna happen again. Right? She wants to know

260
00:09:05.134 –> 00:09:06.274
– that it’s not her.

261
00:09:06.735 –> 00:09:08.654
– She wants to know that it’s not personal.

262
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– She wants to know that you would do

263
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– this regardless of who you were married to

264
00:09:12.414 –> 00:09:14.200
– or even if you were single. Right? She

265
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– wants to know that this is a you

266
00:09:15.799 –> 00:09:17.159
– problem, and the only way that you can

267
00:09:17.159 –> 00:09:18.440
– prove that to her is if you can

268
00:09:18.440 –> 00:09:20.279
– explain it and prove it. Right? So that’s

269
00:09:20.279 –> 00:09:22.299
– the why. Obviously, it’s a way bigger conversation.

270
00:09:22.600 –> 00:09:24.759
– The second question that they need to answer,

271
00:09:24.759 –> 00:09:26.440
– and again, you need to answer this yourself

272
00:09:26.440 –> 00:09:28.335
– if you’re gonna be in excellent recovery, is

273
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– how did you let this happen?

274
00:09:30.335 –> 00:09:32.575
– So this is very similar to the why,

275
00:09:32.575 –> 00:09:34.254
– but it’s a little different. And here’s why

276
00:09:34.254 –> 00:09:36.335
– I say this. The how did you let

277
00:09:36.335 –> 00:09:38.575
– this happen is a bigger question. Right? It’s

278
00:09:38.575 –> 00:09:41.315
– it’s how did this behavior jump

279
00:09:41.909 –> 00:09:45.190
– in priority? Right? How did this behavior start

280
00:09:45.190 –> 00:09:47.909
– taking, you know, jumping our kids, jumping our

281
00:09:47.909 –> 00:09:50.710
– marriage, jumping your career and your career, jumping

282
00:09:50.710 –> 00:09:52.809
– the importance of our family’s finances?

283
00:09:53.269 –> 00:09:55.495
– That’s the how that they’re asking is, all

284
00:09:55.495 –> 00:09:57.675
– of a sudden this sexual acting out behavior

285
00:09:57.975 –> 00:10:00.215
– started to become more and more and more

286
00:10:00.215 –> 00:10:01.115
– of a priority,

287
00:10:01.894 –> 00:10:03.754
– right, to the point where you were willing

288
00:10:03.975 –> 00:10:06.054
– to risk those things. You said, you know

289
00:10:06.054 –> 00:10:07.894
– what? It’s worth the risk. Right? That’s what

290
00:10:07.894 –> 00:10:10.029
– your brain told you in that moment. And

291
00:10:10.029 –> 00:10:11.570
– you need to understand the mechanism

292
00:10:12.110 –> 00:10:13.570
– of how that happened. Because

293
00:10:13.950 –> 00:10:15.389
– again, it goes back to the why just

294
00:10:15.389 –> 00:10:17.950
– in the sense that what’s so important to

295
00:10:17.950 –> 00:10:20.590
– you that in that moment, you’re gonna choose

296
00:10:20.590 –> 00:10:22.465
– that over your wife? And you need an

297
00:10:22.465 –> 00:10:24.465
– answer to that question. Right? It does go

298
00:10:24.465 –> 00:10:25.904
– back to the why in the sense that

299
00:10:25.904 –> 00:10:28.144
– what you want in this moment, you feel

300
00:10:28.144 –> 00:10:30.304
– so out of control that you’re gonna do

301
00:10:30.304 –> 00:10:30.804
– something

302
00:10:31.184 –> 00:10:31.924
– that grotesque

303
00:10:32.465 –> 00:10:34.465
– just to prove to yourself that you have

304
00:10:34.465 –> 00:10:36.625
– agency and that that the rules don’t apply

305
00:10:36.625 –> 00:10:39.029
– to you. You’re gonna do that. Right? And

306
00:10:39.029 –> 00:10:41.429
– it’s figuring out the how you let this

307
00:10:41.429 –> 00:10:43.429
– happen. To me, it does two things. One,

308
00:10:43.429 –> 00:10:44.730
– it shows you the insanity

309
00:10:45.269 –> 00:10:47.509
– of the human mind. Right? Because we do.

310
00:10:47.509 –> 00:10:49.829
– We just do crazy… Humans just do crazy

311
00:10:49.829 –> 00:10:51.990
– stuff in their bad moments. It’s quite shocking

312
00:10:51.990 –> 00:10:54.044
– to see. But the second reason that you

313
00:10:54.044 –> 00:10:55.725
– need to find it is, again, this goes

314
00:10:55.725 –> 00:10:56.784
– directly to

315
00:10:57.164 –> 00:10:58.865
– your wife’s perception of safety.

316
00:10:59.404 –> 00:11:01.804
– Right? Because if you can explain how this

317
00:11:01.804 –> 00:11:04.284
– happened, it really unlocks, to me, the key

318
00:11:04.284 –> 00:11:06.524
– to long term recovery, which is, okay, yeah,

319
00:11:06.524 –> 00:11:08.820
– I figured out my why. But the how

320
00:11:08.820 –> 00:11:10.659
– is, you know, people would often call those

321
00:11:10.659 –> 00:11:12.659
– kind of like the triggers. Right? What is

322
00:11:12.659 –> 00:11:15.299
– the container? What is the life situation that

323
00:11:15.299 –> 00:11:16.759
– you find yourself in

324
00:11:17.299 –> 00:11:19.879
– that you considered it worth the risk?

325
00:11:20.475 –> 00:11:22.955
– Right? That you allow these sexual acting out

326
00:11:22.955 –> 00:11:25.355
– behaviors or these affairs or whatever else to

327
00:11:25.355 –> 00:11:27.274
– become more important than the other things in

328
00:11:27.274 –> 00:11:29.034
– your life. And you need to figure that

329
00:11:29.034 –> 00:11:30.394
– out. And, again, it goes back to a

330
00:11:30.394 –> 00:11:32.315
– lot of the why. Right? In that moment,

331
00:11:32.315 –> 00:11:33.774
– you valued being liked

332
00:11:34.470 –> 00:11:35.690
– more than you valued

333
00:11:36.309 –> 00:11:39.589
– your integrity. Right? You value being cool. You

334
00:11:39.589 –> 00:11:41.690
– value being superior. You valued

335
00:11:42.230 –> 00:11:44.169
– being the guy that all the women want.

336
00:11:44.309 –> 00:11:45.370
– Right? You valued

337
00:11:45.750 –> 00:11:46.490
– her attention.

338
00:11:46.950 –> 00:11:49.289
– Her attention in that moment meant more

339
00:11:49.674 –> 00:11:51.674
– than your family. Right? And and it sounds

340
00:11:51.674 –> 00:11:53.195
– crazy. And some of this stuff is the

341
00:11:53.195 –> 00:11:55.295
– most painful to look at because it just…

342
00:11:55.835 –> 00:11:58.315
– It’s not fun information to share with your

343
00:11:58.315 –> 00:12:00.154
– partner. And here’s the last thing I wanna

344
00:12:00.154 –> 00:12:02.174
– say on this before I end this episode.

345
00:12:02.394 –> 00:12:03.615
– Yes. You need to explain

346
00:12:04.309 –> 00:12:05.909
– why you did this. Yes, you need to

347
00:12:05.909 –> 00:12:08.070
– explain to your wife and to yourself how

348
00:12:08.070 –> 00:12:10.470
– you let this happen. But here’s the saddest

349
00:12:10.470 –> 00:12:12.549
– part, right, is as much as you’re gonna

350
00:12:12.549 –> 00:12:14.389
– hear everybody say that you needed to find

351
00:12:14.389 –> 00:12:15.589
– out the why and you need to share

352
00:12:15.589 –> 00:12:17.754
– that with your with your wife and you

353
00:12:17.754 –> 00:12:18.875
– need to find the how and share it

354
00:12:18.875 –> 00:12:20.634
– with your wife. You know, there’s this perception

355
00:12:20.634 –> 00:12:22.794
– that it’s gonna make things better. I haven’t

356
00:12:22.794 –> 00:12:25.754
– seen that. In fact, to me, the why

357
00:12:25.754 –> 00:12:28.954
– and the how is so despicable and so

358
00:12:28.954 –> 00:12:31.779
– and so just stupid and short sighted and

359
00:12:31.779 –> 00:12:34.200
– childish or adolescent or immature

360
00:12:34.580 –> 00:12:36.200
– or selfish or narcissistic

361
00:12:36.899 –> 00:12:39.220
– that even when you explain it to your

362
00:12:39.220 –> 00:12:40.440
– wife, oftentimes,

363
00:12:40.820 –> 00:12:42.339
– it’s not gonna be what she wants to

364
00:12:42.339 –> 00:12:44.100
– hear. You know, she might just say, so

365
00:12:44.100 –> 00:12:47.054
– I married a self absorbed narcissistic asshole. And

366
00:12:47.054 –> 00:12:49.855
– in many ways, she’s not wrong. Right? Oh,

367
00:12:49.855 –> 00:12:51.934
– I married somebody immature and who just thinks

368
00:12:51.934 –> 00:12:52.674
– about himself.

369
00:12:53.774 –> 00:12:56.575
– Sometimes I act that way. I think that’s

370
00:12:56.575 –> 00:12:58.894
– the sad part for everybody listening to this.

371
00:12:58.894 –> 00:13:00.274
– Like the sad part is

372
00:13:01.259 –> 00:13:03.120
– there are times in your life

373
00:13:03.500 –> 00:13:04.000
– where

374
00:13:04.460 –> 00:13:06.540
– it could be even just a percentage of

375
00:13:06.540 –> 00:13:08.160
– your life. It could be 1%.

376
00:13:08.620 –> 00:13:10.320
– It could be one hour

377
00:13:11.100 –> 00:13:13.179
– in a month that you feel this way.

378
00:13:13.179 –> 00:13:15.420
– The problem is in that one hour, if

379
00:13:15.420 –> 00:13:18.835
– you decide to have an affair or hire

380
00:13:18.835 –> 00:13:20.134
– a prostitute or

381
00:13:20.754 –> 00:13:24.115
– consume pornography or some sort of virtual content,

382
00:13:24.115 –> 00:13:26.195
– like, that’s the problem is, you know, guys,

383
00:13:26.195 –> 00:13:28.115
– I I… It sucks. Right? It sucks to

384
00:13:28.115 –> 00:13:30.615
– have your whole marriage and your persona

385
00:13:31.480 –> 00:13:34.200
– judged by one hour a month. It sucks.

386
00:13:34.200 –> 00:13:35.740
– I get that. It really sucks.

387
00:13:36.360 –> 00:13:36.860
– And

388
00:13:37.399 –> 00:13:39.639
– that’s how this works, though. That’s the problem

389
00:13:39.639 –> 00:13:41.639
– with integrity. It’s not it’s not a, hey,

390
00:13:41.639 –> 00:13:42.779
– I’m a man of integrity

391
00:13:43.524 –> 00:13:46.085
– for that whole month except that hour. I

392
00:13:46.085 –> 00:13:48.004
– hear you. I hear you. But that’s not

393
00:13:48.004 –> 00:13:50.725
– how integrity works. You’re either that man all

394
00:13:50.725 –> 00:13:52.884
– the time, every day, twenty four hours a

395
00:13:52.884 –> 00:13:54.725
– day, or you’re not. I just want you

396
00:13:54.725 –> 00:13:57.044
– to understand that’s where the betrayed partners are

397
00:13:57.044 –> 00:13:59.759
– coming from, is they’re not questioning that you’re

398
00:13:59.759 –> 00:14:03.220
– not a complete total narcissistic self absorbed asshole

399
00:14:04.000 –> 00:14:05.600
– 99.9999%

400
00:14:05.600 –> 00:14:07.620
– of the time. They’re actually not arguing that.

401
00:14:07.759 –> 00:14:09.600
– If they were, they wouldn’t be with you.

402
00:14:09.600 –> 00:14:12.019
– Their argument is, yeah, I get that. And

403
00:14:12.080 –> 00:14:13.360
– point 001%

404
00:14:13.360 –> 00:14:14.855
– of the time you are. And if that’s

405
00:14:14.855 –> 00:14:16.454
– the way that you’re gonna be, I can’t

406
00:14:16.454 –> 00:14:17.434
– stay in this marriage.

407
00:14:17.815 –> 00:14:19.815
– Again, so when guys, when you’re having this,

408
00:14:19.815 –> 00:14:21.654
– I know how frustrating it is to feel

409
00:14:21.654 –> 00:14:23.815
– like you’re being accused of being this guy

410
00:14:23.815 –> 00:14:25.174
– all the time. I know that’s how it

411
00:14:25.174 –> 00:14:27.334
– feels. I know. I’ve been in that situation.

412
00:14:27.334 –> 00:14:28.889
– It is how it feels. And when you’re

413
00:14:28.889 –> 00:14:31.549
– in couples therapy, it feels like the therapist

414
00:14:32.089 –> 00:14:33.929
– is talking to you like you’re this guy

415
00:14:33.929 –> 00:14:34.669
– all the time.

416
00:14:35.129 –> 00:14:38.329
– Right? That’s not what anyone’s saying. They’re not

417
00:14:38.329 –> 00:14:40.409
– accusing you of that. They’re talking about the

418
00:14:40.409 –> 00:14:41.610
– point 001%

419
00:14:41.610 –> 00:14:43.125
– of the time that you do do it.

420
00:14:43.365 –> 00:14:45.605
– So stop being defensive. Stop feeling like you’re

421
00:14:45.605 –> 00:14:47.125
– being attacked. Stop feeling like this is the

422
00:14:47.125 –> 00:14:48.565
– end of the world. In the end, you

423
00:14:48.565 –> 00:14:50.404
– guys both want the same thing. The therapy

424
00:14:50.404 –> 00:14:51.845
– team wants the same thing. Your wife wants

425
00:14:51.845 –> 00:14:52.965
– the same thing. You want the same thing.

426
00:14:52.965 –> 00:14:55.044
– We’re talking about that point 001%

427
00:14:55.044 –> 00:14:56.629
– of the time that you all of a

428
00:14:56.629 –> 00:14:57.610
– sudden operate

429
00:14:58.070 –> 00:14:59.450
– from this crazy insane

430
00:14:59.910 –> 00:15:02.149
– thinking where your priorities get all jumbled and

431
00:15:02.149 –> 00:15:05.029
– you do something that can potentially ruin your

432
00:15:05.029 –> 00:15:05.529
– life.

433
00:15:06.230 –> 00:15:08.230
– That’s all we’re talking about. So stop being

434
00:15:08.230 –> 00:15:10.710
– defensive. Stop feeling like you’re being attacked. In

435
00:15:10.710 –> 00:15:12.304
– the end, we need to answer those two

436
00:15:12.304 –> 00:15:13.924
– questions, why and how.

437
00:15:14.785 –> 00:15:16.945
– Thanks for listening to this episode. If you

438
00:15:16.945 –> 00:15:18.785
– are a high achiever with a sex addiction

439
00:15:18.785 –> 00:15:20.465
– and you’re looking for a recovery group full

440
00:15:20.465 –> 00:15:23.460
– of like minded men, visit successfuladdict.com.

441
00:15:23.700 –> 00:15:26.420
– We provide men with a recovery mastermind group

442
00:15:26.420 –> 00:15:27.639
– using four day retreats,

443
00:15:28.100 –> 00:15:30.840
– weekly group calls, and daily accountability check ins.

444
00:15:30.899 –> 00:15:33.059
– If you wanna achieve long term sobriety and

445
00:15:33.059 –> 00:15:34.980
– save your marriage, go to our website and

446
00:15:34.980 –> 00:15:37.300
– fill out our application. If you enjoyed this

447
00:15:37.300 –> 00:15:39.554
– episode, please pass it along to a friend

448
00:15:39.554 –> 00:15:41.475
– in recovery who would benefit from listening. It

449
00:15:41.475 –> 00:15:43.235
– is my mission to get this information out

450
00:15:43.235 –> 00:15:45.714
– to as many high achievers as possible, and

451
00:15:45.714 –> 00:15:47.254
– I can’t do it without your help.