12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy.
Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. If 12-step meetings are not resonating with you, you need to find something that does.
Many high-achieving men struggle with 12-step groups. They find them inefficient, lacking structure, and difficult to find connection.
There are many reasons why, and I discuss them in this podcast episode.
If you are a high-achiever, executive, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website: successfuladdict.com
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,879 Twelve step meetings do not work for all 2 00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:04,960 men. Now, I do not want to offend 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,799 anyone. There are some of you who love 4 00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,880 twelve step. You love SA and you love 5 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:10,719 SAA and that's great. And if it's working 6 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:11,939 for you, keep going. 7 00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:15,265 You are listening to the sex addiction podcast 8 00:00:15,324 --> 00:00:18,545 for high achievers, business professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs. 9 00:00:18,925 --> 00:00:21,484 This podcast is designed to apply sobriety and 10 00:00:21,484 --> 00:00:24,684 recovery principles specifically to the mindset of the 11 00:00:24,684 --> 00:00:27,670 high achiever. I'm your host, Roland Cochran, founder 12 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,970 of The Successful Addict, a recovery group for 13 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:32,289 high achieving men struggling with sex and porn 14 00:00:32,289 --> 00:00:34,770 addiction. For more information about joining our group 15 00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:38,390 or attending our next retreat, visit successfuladdict.com. 16 00:00:38,450 --> 00:00:40,549 And now, enjoy the rest of the episode. 17 00:00:42,204 --> 00:00:43,644 Keep going. I went for the first two 18 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,625 years of my recovery, 19 00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:47,884 but it doesn't work for all men. And, 20 00:00:48,204 --> 00:00:50,125 me particularly, I was one of those guys. 21 00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:52,604 It just I didn't find connection there. I 22 00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:55,004 didn't find the the 12 steps to really 23 00:00:55,004 --> 00:00:57,484 do that much for my addiction or compulsive 24 00:00:57,484 --> 00:00:59,030 behavior. And so I was kind of just 25 00:00:59,030 --> 00:01:01,030 going to go. I wasn't getting connection. Addiction 26 00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:02,870 didn't really seem to be going anywhere. So 27 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:05,450 for me, it didn't quite work. But again, 28 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:07,510 some things work for some people and other 29 00:01:07,510 --> 00:01:09,349 things work for others. Right? Just like everything. 30 00:01:09,349 --> 00:01:11,909 Right? The challenge with 12 step though is, 31 00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:15,465 especially in this space, is there's definitely an 32 00:01:15,465 --> 00:01:15,965 assumption 33 00:01:16,265 --> 00:01:17,784 that it works. And I think we need 34 00:01:17,784 --> 00:01:18,605 to be careful 35 00:01:18,984 --> 00:01:21,545 with that. Just like, again, being careful choosing 36 00:01:21,545 --> 00:01:24,125 any modality and saying, hey, this will work 37 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,945 for you. No. It works for some people. 38 00:01:25,945 --> 00:01:27,500 It won't work for everyone. 39 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,480 Right? And now just to to get one 40 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,319 thing clear, 12 step, when you when you 41 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:32,920 read the books, either the white book or 42 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,439 the green book, right in the book, it 43 00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:36,520 tells you the purpose of 12 step meetings 44 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,520 is to gather a bunch of people with 45 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,500 the same problem 46 00:01:39,865 --> 00:01:41,625 and work the 12 steps together. That is 47 00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:42,685 the purpose. Right? 48 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,465 It is not for connection. Now, yes, are 49 00:01:45,465 --> 00:01:46,905 you meeting other people there? And can you 50 00:01:46,905 --> 00:01:49,564 guys exchange contact information? Will you form connections? 51 00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:52,829 Okay. Sure. But it's not for connection. It 52 00:01:52,829 --> 00:01:54,189 is to work the 12 steps. Right? And 53 00:01:54,189 --> 00:01:56,670 the sponsor is not your therapist. They're actually 54 00:01:56,670 --> 00:01:58,189 not supposed to give you any sort of 55 00:01:58,189 --> 00:02:00,750 advice. They're there to use their experience and 56 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,670 help you go through the 12 steps. That's 57 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:03,569 that's their purpose 58 00:02:04,269 --> 00:02:05,834 as stated in in both of the books. 59 00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:07,674 So I like to I like to bring 60 00:02:07,674 --> 00:02:08,955 that up just because I think a lot 61 00:02:08,955 --> 00:02:11,354 of people attend 12 step meetings with a 62 00:02:11,354 --> 00:02:13,354 lot of other assumptions. They I think they 63 00:02:13,354 --> 00:02:15,615 expect to get sober. I think they expect 64 00:02:15,914 --> 00:02:17,914 to have it, help their recovery. I think 65 00:02:17,914 --> 00:02:20,069 they expect to get connection. Right? But again, 66 00:02:20,069 --> 00:02:22,069 there's no crosstalk allowed in the room for 67 00:02:22,069 --> 00:02:23,930 a reason. Right? Because they don't want anybody 68 00:02:24,069 --> 00:02:26,950 to give advice or therapeutic advice when they're 69 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:29,270 not therapists. Right? Or or if they are 70 00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:31,110 therapists, you're not their patient. Right? So they're 71 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,870 trying to protect people. My point of all 72 00:02:32,870 --> 00:02:34,705 of this is the goal of the programs 73 00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,705 is to go through the 12 steps. Well, 74 00:02:36,705 --> 00:02:38,465 the the 12 steps have not been proven 75 00:02:38,465 --> 00:02:40,224 to actually be effective when it comes to 76 00:02:40,224 --> 00:02:42,305 process addictions. Right? Now I'm not saying that, 77 00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:44,944 going through amends and taking all these moral 78 00:02:44,944 --> 00:02:47,025 inventories. These are great exercises, and and they're 79 00:02:47,025 --> 00:02:48,545 not gonna harm you. Right? So that's the 80 00:02:48,545 --> 00:02:50,500 thing is, you know, that was the reason 81 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,740 I went to 12 four. Those first couple 82 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,500 years of my recovery was, you know, I 83 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,180 I didn't see it was gonna do any 84 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,700 harm. You know, if anything, it was gonna 85 00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:59,540 be beneficial. Right? Here's some here here's some, 86 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,260 things maybe become enlightened around a certain area, 87 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,405 something that that I can't see, right, that 88 00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:06,004 somebody else could show me. Right? So it's 89 00:03:06,004 --> 00:03:07,844 not gonna harm you. But the point is 90 00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:08,905 if if you're getting, 91 00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:10,585 if you're trying to prioritize, 92 00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:13,444 where to put your recovery, because that was 93 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:16,025 my case was I'm an efficiency guy. Like, 94 00:03:16,219 --> 00:03:18,699 I can't relapse. I can't slip. My wife's 95 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,459 not gonna tolerate that. Right? She's gonna she's 96 00:03:20,459 --> 00:03:22,620 gonna leave me. So I needed an efficient 97 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,199 plan that was going to help me recover 98 00:03:25,259 --> 00:03:27,659 as fast as humanly possible. Now we know 99 00:03:27,659 --> 00:03:29,740 with this addiction, there's nothing fast about it. 100 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,685 It is a it's a schlog. Right? It's 101 00:03:31,685 --> 00:03:34,084 it's a series of looking for things and 102 00:03:34,084 --> 00:03:34,584 trying, 103 00:03:34,884 --> 00:03:37,604 different modalities and and hunting and searching while 104 00:03:37,604 --> 00:03:39,044 trying to stay sober the whole time. Right? 105 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,444 So it's not easy. It's not quick. But 106 00:03:41,444 --> 00:03:43,125 it doesn't mean that it can't be accelerated 107 00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:44,564 and also doesn't mean that it can't be 108 00:03:44,564 --> 00:03:46,650 slowed down. You know? Look. Judging by the 109 00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,569 relapse rate, it doesn't look to me like 110 00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:50,489 a lot of guys are in great recovery, 111 00:03:50,489 --> 00:03:52,409 and they don't have a really sustainable plan 112 00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:54,729 considering most of them, almost seventy percent are 113 00:03:54,729 --> 00:03:56,650 relapsing inside of inside of five years. Right? 114 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,909 So so, again, when we're looking at this, 115 00:03:59,764 --> 00:04:01,844 what I'm what I'm saying is, if you're 116 00:04:01,844 --> 00:04:04,164 going to these meetings and you're expecting them 117 00:04:04,164 --> 00:04:06,104 to provide you with connection, 118 00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:09,604 you know, deep, friendships and accountability partners, that's 119 00:04:09,604 --> 00:04:12,324 not gonna happen necessarily. Right? Unless you initiate 120 00:04:12,324 --> 00:04:14,405 it or someone at the room initiates it, 121 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:16,350 but it's not built into the program. Right? 122 00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:18,670 So again, this is not a anti 12 123 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:20,750 step, podcast. That's not that's not what I'm 124 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,589 saying. What I'm saying is if you're going 125 00:04:22,589 --> 00:04:24,910 there and you're not finding it very productive, 126 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,769 you're not finding it very, connecting, 127 00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:29,535 you're not crazy. It's it's because it's really 128 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:30,035 not 129 00:04:30,495 --> 00:04:33,694 particularly designed to help you recover. Right? It's 130 00:04:33,694 --> 00:04:35,694 it's not a one stop shop for recovery, 131 00:04:35,694 --> 00:04:37,774 and and and it never was advertised that 132 00:04:37,774 --> 00:04:39,214 way. Right? And it's also not a place 133 00:04:39,214 --> 00:04:41,375 for connection. It was never it never says 134 00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,180 that in the book. Right? But it is 135 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,759 a great place to potentially meet people. Now 136 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:48,699 for my, target audience, right, high achievers and 137 00:04:48,699 --> 00:04:50,399 entrepreneurs, I think it's particularly 138 00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:53,020 difficult for us to attend 12 steps meet 139 00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:54,699 meetings. And and and there's a variety of 140 00:04:54,699 --> 00:04:55,199 reasons. 141 00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:59,324 One is, you know, people connect most with 142 00:04:59,324 --> 00:04:59,824 people 143 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:00,944 who they, 144 00:05:01,564 --> 00:05:04,285 who they have have similar interests. They have 145 00:05:04,285 --> 00:05:04,944 a similar, 146 00:05:05,324 --> 00:05:07,404 you know, Harvard or Stanford did a study 147 00:05:07,404 --> 00:05:08,144 that showed 148 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,720 connect most when they have similar goals and 149 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,439 aspirations for their life. You'll see this. Right? 150 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,120 When you go to a networking event, you'll 151 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:15,620 find, 152 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,139 all the people who, 153 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,759 kind of just, you know, career and work 154 00:05:19,759 --> 00:05:21,199 is not really that important to them. Right? 155 00:05:21,199 --> 00:05:23,039 It's more of a family in their community. 156 00:05:23,039 --> 00:05:24,774 Right? So those people all hang out together. 157 00:05:24,774 --> 00:05:26,295 And then there's the people who, you know, 158 00:05:26,295 --> 00:05:28,855 their career is extremely important to them. Right? 159 00:05:28,855 --> 00:05:31,995 And success and and, you know, building financial, 160 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,454 security and and building wealth is is very 161 00:05:34,454 --> 00:05:36,134 important to them. So all those people kind 162 00:05:36,134 --> 00:05:38,394 of cluster together. You see this everywhere. Right? 163 00:05:38,615 --> 00:05:41,550 And so it's the same with connection as 164 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,790 a sex addict. Right? You're going to connect 165 00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:46,750 best with people who you can have intellectual 166 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,870 conversations with, stimulating conversations with. Right? You need 167 00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,949 to look forward to hanging around this person. 168 00:05:51,949 --> 00:05:53,790 You need to feel seen, understood with them. 169 00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:55,604 Right? And there needs to be an exchange. 170 00:05:55,604 --> 00:05:57,524 Right? And and sex addiction is no different 171 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,365 than connecting with anyone else in the real 172 00:05:59,365 --> 00:06:01,384 world. Right? So the point of this is 173 00:06:01,604 --> 00:06:03,285 when you're going to 12 step meetings, you 174 00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:05,285 know, let's say there's eight guys there, 12 175 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,824 guys there. Statistically 176 00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:09,365 speaking, only two percent of the population or 177 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:12,550 less are high achievers. Right? So the likelihood 178 00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:14,550 of a high achiever being in a room 179 00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:16,810 of, you know, eight to 12 people, 180 00:06:18,149 --> 00:06:19,370 is low. Right? So 181 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,509 you might not find somebody that you really 182 00:06:21,509 --> 00:06:23,589 click with. Right? And and again, it's not 183 00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:25,425 to say that you can't form connections with 184 00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:26,904 somebody who's different from you. You can't. But 185 00:06:26,904 --> 00:06:28,725 I would definitely say it's a lot easier, 186 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,824 when you have somebody that's, you know, more 187 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,425 similar to you. The other thing is there's 188 00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:35,264 a there's a big difference in acting out 189 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,604 behaviors. I find that high achieving men, 190 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,449 you know, they they typically act out a 191 00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:41,750 little bit different than, 192 00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:44,850 the general population. You know, the general population, 193 00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:47,089 there's a lot of pornography use. Right? There's 194 00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:48,069 a lot of coping, 195 00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:49,089 you know, 196 00:06:49,729 --> 00:06:51,889 escaping their their job that they don't like. 197 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:52,365 They're, 198 00:06:52,764 --> 00:06:54,685 they're they're under a lot of stress, maybe 199 00:06:54,685 --> 00:06:55,664 financial pressures. 200 00:06:56,685 --> 00:06:57,884 They they don't like, 201 00:06:58,524 --> 00:07:00,524 how they look. They don't like the trajectory 202 00:07:00,524 --> 00:07:02,764 of their life. They don't, maybe maybe they're 203 00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:04,919 not super satisfied in their marriage. Right? And 204 00:07:04,919 --> 00:07:06,600 so there there's a lot of escapism. Right? 205 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,360 So there's a lot of pornography used to 206 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,439 escape their life. Well, high achieving men, you 207 00:07:10,439 --> 00:07:12,680 know, they don't really want to escape their 208 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,759 life. In fact, they love their life, typically. 209 00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,360 They love their career. They love their wife. 210 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,720 They love, they have, amazing vacations and hobbies. 211 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:19,970 And, 212 00:07:20,975 --> 00:07:23,214 they're more on the quest to enhance their 213 00:07:23,214 --> 00:07:25,475 life. Right? So typically, their acting out behaviors 214 00:07:25,535 --> 00:07:27,535 are are add ons. Right? They're trying to 215 00:07:27,535 --> 00:07:29,394 find ways to have more experiences, 216 00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:30,274 more, 217 00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:33,555 more validation, more more admiration, 218 00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:36,029 more lust, more right? It's it's all about 219 00:07:36,029 --> 00:07:37,629 more and more and more for high achieving 220 00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:39,310 men. And so when they come to a 221 00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,389 12 step room where, you know, the majority 222 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:42,529 of people are, 223 00:07:43,069 --> 00:07:44,850 avoiding negative emotions, 224 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:47,089 you know, it can be sometimes, 225 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,034 hard to connect when their drivers are different 226 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,034 than yours and their acting out behaviors are 227 00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,435 very different than yours. Whereas, you know, for 228 00:07:53,435 --> 00:07:55,654 a lot of high achieving men, it has 229 00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:57,495 typically surpassed pornography. 230 00:07:58,034 --> 00:07:58,694 Not always. 231 00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,834 Thank goodness and lucky you if it hasn't, 232 00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,435 but, for a lot of high achieving men, 233 00:08:02,435 --> 00:08:04,220 you know, they love the exchange with a 234 00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:06,779 real human. Right? So typically, it crosses the 235 00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:09,019 flesh line into, you know, physical acting out 236 00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:09,519 behaviors. 237 00:08:09,819 --> 00:08:11,500 Right? But the point of all of this 238 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,000 is, 239 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,060 what I'm trying to have you do is 240 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:16,959 set realistic 241 00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:18,194 expectations. 242 00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:20,735 12 step is designed to do a very 243 00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:23,215 specific thing. It's primarily a container for you 244 00:08:23,215 --> 00:08:25,455 guys to work through the 12 steps together 245 00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:26,975 and kind of share your experiences and help 246 00:08:26,975 --> 00:08:29,215 each other along. Right? Again, it it is 247 00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:29,955 not designed 248 00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:34,029 to be a recovery tool, a therapy tool. 249 00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:36,009 It's not designed to help show you why 250 00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:38,169 you act out and how to psychologically change 251 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,490 those behaviors. And it's and it's not designed 252 00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:42,889 to connect. Right? All of that stuff's gonna 253 00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:45,445 happen on your own clock. Right? And so 254 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:48,325 if you are looking for a group that 255 00:08:48,325 --> 00:08:51,684 does prioritize connection, right, that does actually have 256 00:08:51,684 --> 00:08:52,184 a, 257 00:08:52,884 --> 00:08:55,605 a plan in place, a structure, an efficient 258 00:08:55,605 --> 00:08:58,804 structure to discover your the ins and outs 259 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,379 of your process addiction, Those groups do exist. 260 00:09:01,379 --> 00:09:03,940 Right? There there are therapy groups, you know, 261 00:09:04,179 --> 00:09:05,320 all over the country 262 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:08,919 who, which different, therapists have kinda put together 263 00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,860 where they do prioritize connection. Right? They do 264 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:14,495 prioritize a plan, an efficient plan. Right? They 265 00:09:14,495 --> 00:09:16,894 do have time to hunt for the why 266 00:09:16,894 --> 00:09:18,975 behind your addiction. Right? So if that's what 267 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,615 you're looking for, those groups do exist. So 268 00:09:21,615 --> 00:09:23,934 again, if 12 steps just not really fitting 269 00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:25,375 the mold for what it is that you're 270 00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:27,615 looking for in your personal recovery, there's other 271 00:09:27,615 --> 00:09:29,860 options out there. There. So again, this is 272 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,259 not an anti 12 step podcast. Please do 273 00:09:32,259 --> 00:09:34,019 not take it that way. If you, I 274 00:09:34,019 --> 00:09:36,419 always encourage everybody, hey, attend your local group. 275 00:09:36,419 --> 00:09:38,039 For all you know, it could be amazing. 276 00:09:38,179 --> 00:09:39,960 You know, when I was going through this, 277 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,940 I was going to 12 step meetings in 278 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:43,625 all sorts of cities. And there were some 279 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,464 cities where I loved the group. Oh, my 280 00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:47,064 gosh. I had one in Colorado that I 281 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,904 just I really love the men. I wish 282 00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:50,264 I wish I was still there. I would 283 00:09:50,264 --> 00:09:52,105 probably still attend that group. Right? So some 284 00:09:52,105 --> 00:09:53,544 of them might work for you. But if 285 00:09:53,544 --> 00:09:55,850 they're not working for you, don't just say, 286 00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:57,629 oh, well, I tried and it didn't work. 287 00:09:57,929 --> 00:09:59,850 No. That is not the case. We know 288 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:03,049 that peer support, deep connections with other men 289 00:10:03,049 --> 00:10:05,769 in this, like minded men, is the number 290 00:10:05,769 --> 00:10:06,269 one 291 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,490 thing you can do for your recovery. Number 292 00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:10,554 one. So don't just go and say, hey. 293 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:12,235 I tried and it didn't work. No. That 294 00:10:12,235 --> 00:10:14,394 that doesn't count. Because again, I I I 295 00:10:14,394 --> 00:10:16,315 just I'm gonna tell you from personal experience 296 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:16,815 here. 297 00:10:17,674 --> 00:10:19,115 From what I have seen, if you do 298 00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:21,195 not have a recovery group of men who 299 00:10:21,195 --> 00:10:22,554 you can lean on, who you really have 300 00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:23,934 deep relationships with, 301 00:10:24,309 --> 00:10:25,610 a lot of those guys 302 00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:28,389 eventually relapse. Like I said, it's not guaranteed, 303 00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:30,710 but it definitely increases likelihood. So if 12 304 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:33,210 steps not working, find another group. 305 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,674 Thanks for listening to this episode. If you 306 00:10:36,674 --> 00:10:38,514 are a high achiever with a sex addiction 307 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,195 and you're looking for a recovery group full 308 00:10:40,195 --> 00:10:43,394 of like minded men, visit successfuladdict.com. 309 00:10:43,394 --> 00:10:46,195 We provide men with a recovery mastermind group 310 00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:47,495 using four day retreats, 311 00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:50,620 weekly group calls, and daily accountability check ins. 312 00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:52,779 If you wanna achieve long term sobriety and 313 00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,940 save your marriage, go to our website, fill 314 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:57,519 out our application. If you enjoyed this episode, 315 00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,419 please pass it along to a friend in 316 00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:01,419 recovery who would benefit from listening. It is 317 00:11:01,419 --> 00:11:03,223 my mission to get this information out to 318 00:11:03,223 --> 00:11:05,543 as many high achievers as possible, and I 319 00:11:05,543 --> 00:11:07,083 can't do it without your help.
