1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,240
We still need a plan. We still need

2
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,799
things to focus on to integrate. You can't

3
00:00:04,799 --> 00:00:07,440
expect unwanted or compulsive behaviors to leave your

4
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,919
life without structure, a plan. And one of

5
00:00:09,919 --> 00:00:12,314
the things that I took from 12 step

6
00:00:12,474 --> 00:00:14,955
was this three circle sobriety plan. I think

7
00:00:14,955 --> 00:00:16,574
it was a nice way to kinda structure

8
00:00:16,714 --> 00:00:19,114
behaviors that you can't do, dangerous behaviors, and

9
00:00:19,114 --> 00:00:20,254
also healthy behaviors.

10
00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:23,594
You are listening to the sex addiction podcast

11
00:00:23,594 --> 00:00:26,900
for high achievers, business professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs.

12
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:29,839
This podcast is designed to apply sobriety and

13
00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:30,740
recovery principles

14
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,780
specifically to the mindset of the high achiever.

15
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,479
I'm your host, Roland Cochran, founder of The

16
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,880
Successful Addict, a recovery group for high achieving

17
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,434
men struggling with sex and porn addiction. For

18
00:00:41,434 --> 00:00:43,674
more information about joining our group or attending

19
00:00:43,674 --> 00:00:46,734
our next retreat, visit successfuladdict.com.

20
00:00:46,795 --> 00:00:48,894
And now, enjoy the rest of the episode.

21
00:00:50,795 --> 00:00:53,114
The three circles of sobriety. Many of you

22
00:00:53,114 --> 00:00:54,795
probably have heard this. It's a,

23
00:00:55,549 --> 00:00:57,489
SAA philosophy, I think.

24
00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:59,710
And the idea is that you create these

25
00:00:59,710 --> 00:01:02,590
three circles. The inner circle is what violates

26
00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:04,829
your sobriety. The middle circle is something that

27
00:01:04,829 --> 00:01:06,829
is, you know, tempting or dangerous. And then

28
00:01:06,829 --> 00:01:09,150
the outer circle are healthy behaviors that keep

29
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:09,890
you sober,

30
00:01:10,575 --> 00:01:11,875
and prevent relapse.

31
00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:14,575
Now I'm not a massive 12 step guy.

32
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,694
Many of you know this about me. I

33
00:01:15,694 --> 00:01:17,454
don't have anything against twelve step. I just

34
00:01:17,454 --> 00:01:20,015
don't think that it's as effective for process

35
00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:22,174
addiction as it is for substance addiction. But

36
00:01:22,174 --> 00:01:24,790
nonetheless, we still need a plan. We still

37
00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:27,430
need things to focus on to integrate. You

38
00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:30,150
can't expect unwanted or compulsive behaviors to leave

39
00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:32,709
your life without structure, a plan. And one

40
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:35,349
of the things that, I took from the

41
00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:38,810
12 step, circles was this three circle sobriety

42
00:01:38,869 --> 00:01:40,594
plan. I think it was a nice way

43
00:01:40,594 --> 00:01:41,495
to kinda structure,

44
00:01:42,755 --> 00:01:45,314
behaviors that you can't do, dangerous behaviors, and

45
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,795
also healthy behaviors. And so I'm gonna use

46
00:01:47,795 --> 00:01:49,475
this time in this episode to actually read

47
00:01:49,475 --> 00:01:52,439
to you guys my three circle sobriety plan

48
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,579
just to give you guys some ideas and,

49
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,140
spark some kind of interesting discussion. Now you're

50
00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:59,620
gonna see my three circle sobriety plan, and

51
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,620
it might look different than some of,

52
00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:03,780
the other three circle plans that you have

53
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:05,305
heard of at twelve step meetings or in

54
00:02:05,305 --> 00:02:07,245
your different groups. And again, that's because

55
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:10,425
I'm a huge believer. I'm calling this addiction

56
00:02:10,425 --> 00:02:12,104
what it should be called. It's it's a

57
00:02:12,104 --> 00:02:14,104
process addiction. That's what this is. A sex

58
00:02:14,104 --> 00:02:16,104
and porn addiction is simply just an inaccurate

59
00:02:16,104 --> 00:02:18,860
term. These brain processes that you become addicted

60
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:19,360
to,

61
00:02:19,979 --> 00:02:22,799
are way bigger than sex and pornography,

62
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,860
and, they they need to be addressed. And

63
00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:26,780
some of that can be integrated into your

64
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,459
three circle plan. So I'm gonna dive into

65
00:02:28,459 --> 00:02:30,139
mine now first. Now my inner circle is

66
00:02:30,139 --> 00:02:31,580
probably gonna look like a lot of your

67
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:33,604
guys' inner circles. Right? These are the the

68
00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:35,525
big no no behaviors. Right? These are the

69
00:02:35,525 --> 00:02:36,025
relapse

70
00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:38,965
behaviors where, at least with my plan, you

71
00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:40,985
know, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell my wife

72
00:02:41,284 --> 00:02:43,044
when I do these things. Right? That's that's

73
00:02:43,044 --> 00:02:43,705
our agreement.

74
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:45,939
So, you know, I'm gonna read them off

75
00:02:45,939 --> 00:02:47,620
quickly. Again, a lot of this is stuff

76
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:48,900
that a lot of you guys probably already

77
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,840
have. So, this would obviously,

78
00:02:51,219 --> 00:02:51,699
be,

79
00:02:52,099 --> 00:02:52,599
pornography,

80
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:53,800
intentionally,

81
00:02:55,219 --> 00:02:58,364
viewing provocative material. Right? So this could be

82
00:02:58,364 --> 00:02:58,864
non,

83
00:02:59,564 --> 00:03:00,544
nude material

84
00:03:00,844 --> 00:03:01,985
on social media,

85
00:03:02,844 --> 00:03:04,305
you know, looking at advertisings,

86
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,745
models, TV.

87
00:03:06,364 --> 00:03:08,204
Basically, the way I define it here is

88
00:03:08,204 --> 00:03:10,044
if it could have been avoided, then it

89
00:03:10,044 --> 00:03:12,069
needs to be avoided. Right? So, you know,

90
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:13,830
if it's just showing up and I drive

91
00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:16,229
by a billboard, obviously, that's not an inner

92
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:18,949
circle behavior. But if I am seeking out

93
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,389
this, if I, you know, you know, if

94
00:03:20,389 --> 00:03:22,650
I knew that there was a provocative billboard

95
00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:25,269
in town and I would drive there to

96
00:03:25,269 --> 00:03:26,925
look at it, which is something I would

97
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:29,564
never do, but that would be considered acting

98
00:03:29,564 --> 00:03:31,485
out by my definition. Basically, if I can

99
00:03:31,485 --> 00:03:34,044
avoid it, then I'm gonna avoid it. And

100
00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:35,805
if I find myself seeking it out, then

101
00:03:35,805 --> 00:03:37,665
then that's an inner circle, violation.

102
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:41,245
Intentionally going somewhere virtually or physically with the

103
00:03:41,245 --> 00:03:43,379
intent of objectifying women.

104
00:03:44,159 --> 00:03:46,639
Again, this this wasn't a massive issue for

105
00:03:46,639 --> 00:03:48,000
me, but I wanted to throw this one

106
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,840
in here mainly for my wife. Right? So,

107
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,300
she knows that I'm not,

108
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:52,900
going to a place

109
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,360
because there are women there and I'm I

110
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,224
I know they're gonna be there. Right? So,

111
00:03:57,784 --> 00:03:59,705
that's part of my inner circle. No strip

112
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:00,685
clubs, no masturbation,

113
00:04:01,544 --> 00:04:04,344
no massage parlors or anything similar where sex

114
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,485
or nudity occurs.

115
00:04:06,824 --> 00:04:07,965
Sex or romantic,

116
00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,444
no sexual, romantic or flirtatious

117
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:11,324
contact

118
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,520
with a person outside of my relationship.

119
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,560
No communication with women,

120
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,959
outside of work purposes

121
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:23,060
without my wife's knowledge. So, again, just, you

122
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,975
know, if I'm gonna be texting a female

123
00:04:24,975 --> 00:04:26,975
or emailing a female and it doesn't have

124
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,115
to do with work,

125
00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,735
my wife needs to know who this person

126
00:04:30,735 --> 00:04:32,014
is, and I just need to tell her

127
00:04:32,014 --> 00:04:34,175
that, hey. I'm I'm texting or communicating with

128
00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:35,935
this individual, and it and it's not for

129
00:04:35,935 --> 00:04:36,435
work.

130
00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:39,535
Hiding my location or turning off my phone

131
00:04:39,535 --> 00:04:41,699
or leaving my phone at home or in

132
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:43,300
my hotel room, right, so that she,

133
00:04:43,939 --> 00:04:46,019
doesn't know where I am, taking off my

134
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:50,019
wedding ring, and lastly, drinking alcohol without my

135
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:53,235
wife present or communicating with her prior.

136
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:55,154
And and so why did I do that

137
00:04:55,154 --> 00:04:56,834
one? Again, that's more of like a custom

138
00:04:56,834 --> 00:04:58,214
one for me. To me,

139
00:04:58,914 --> 00:04:59,574
you know,

140
00:05:00,274 --> 00:05:02,914
this behavior happens when we are impaired or

141
00:05:02,914 --> 00:05:04,514
compromised, and that can happen in a lot

142
00:05:04,514 --> 00:05:05,875
of different ways. It doesn't have to just

143
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:06,694
be with substances.

144
00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:09,019
But, you know, I I did act out,

145
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,579
when I drank a lot of alcohol. And

146
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,420
so for me personally, that was that's something

147
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,199
that, you know, I just don't wanna drink

148
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,019
when I when I'm not with my wife

149
00:05:17,019 --> 00:05:19,100
unless I have a communication with her. Right?

150
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,465
If we're going wine tasting or whiskey tasting

151
00:05:21,465 --> 00:05:23,785
or, maybe I'm somewhere where having a beer

152
00:05:23,785 --> 00:05:25,085
would would not be inappropriate.

153
00:05:25,705 --> 00:05:27,305
But, again, I'm gonna communicate with that, but

154
00:05:27,384 --> 00:05:28,665
with that with her before I do it.

155
00:05:28,665 --> 00:05:30,105
So that's my inner circle. I don't know.

156
00:05:30,105 --> 00:05:31,465
It probably looks pretty similar to a lot

157
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,764
of your guys' inner circles.

158
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,620
And again, what's inner circle? That is that

159
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,339
is classified as a relapse. Right? And so

160
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,180
that is, if I violate any of those,

161
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:41,540
I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest with my

162
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,519
wife and tell her.

163
00:05:43,139 --> 00:05:43,959
Middle circle.

164
00:05:44,419 --> 00:05:46,740
So, this one's gonna be, you know, you'll

165
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:47,564
just see some differences

166
00:05:49,564 --> 00:05:52,205
circle behavior is something that is risky or

167
00:05:52,205 --> 00:05:54,045
something that is dangerous, something you wanna keep

168
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:56,205
your eye on. Now am I telling my

169
00:05:56,205 --> 00:05:57,985
wife, of all of these?

170
00:05:58,605 --> 00:05:59,745
No. Not necessarily.

171
00:06:00,524 --> 00:06:02,449
I I actually do tell my wife a

172
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,449
good amount about the middle circle. You know,

173
00:06:04,449 --> 00:06:06,289
a lot of guys ask about, like, how

174
00:06:06,289 --> 00:06:07,509
to rebuild trust,

175
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:10,289
after you've done this to your wife. The

176
00:06:10,449 --> 00:06:12,629
you know, telling her about middle circle activities,

177
00:06:13,345 --> 00:06:15,105
is actually a pretty good way to build

178
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:16,944
trust. Right? It's showing her that you are

179
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,425
aware of, hey. I'm I'm, you know, I'm

180
00:06:19,425 --> 00:06:21,185
I'm you know, some of this risky stuff

181
00:06:21,185 --> 00:06:23,024
is going on, and I haven't slipped or

182
00:06:23,024 --> 00:06:24,245
relapsed yet, but,

183
00:06:24,865 --> 00:06:26,305
you know, I'm I'm doing this stuff, and

184
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:27,540
I just wanted to let you know that

185
00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:29,259
I'm aware of it. And, you know, I'm

186
00:06:29,259 --> 00:06:32,060
I'm I'm being careful. Okay? So my middle

187
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:33,980
circle, whatever I put in here is kind

188
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:35,520
of dangerous things for me. So,

189
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:36,480
unpredictable

190
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:40,139
situations that can present risks such as Internet

191
00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:43,535
sites, social media, video sites, AI generators,

192
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:45,535
bars, concerts,

193
00:06:46,154 --> 00:06:49,514
gyms, social interactions, and parties. Now I'm not

194
00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:51,115
gonna avoid going to the gym. I love

195
00:06:51,115 --> 00:06:52,475
going to the gym. I'm not gonna avoid

196
00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:54,074
parties. I love parties. I'm not gonna not

197
00:06:54,074 --> 00:06:55,615
go to concerts. I love concerts.

198
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,639
And, you know, a lot of the some

199
00:06:57,639 --> 00:06:59,079
some of the stuff I do for work

200
00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:01,079
is on social media. Right? So, again, this

201
00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:03,579
is in my middle circle. I'm not avoiding

202
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,899
these things. I'm just being hypervigilant

203
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:07,419
around unpredictable

204
00:07:07,879 --> 00:07:10,519
situations where I can't predict who's gonna sit

205
00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:12,944
next to me. I can't predict, who's going

206
00:07:12,944 --> 00:07:15,408
to be in that, that that that group,

207
00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:17,872
at the party that I'm gonna go hang

208
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,062
out with. You know, these are unpredictable situations.

209
00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:22,252
So I just wanna have my guard up

210
00:07:22,252 --> 00:07:25,120
anytime that I don't know necessarily how it's

211
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,959
gonna play out. The big one that I

212
00:07:26,959 --> 00:07:29,120
wanna bring up there is social media or

213
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,500
anything like that. So,

214
00:07:31,439 --> 00:07:34,879
reels, shorts, you know, any any platform. It

215
00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:36,240
doesn't even mean to be social media. It

216
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,159
could be just the news. It could be,

217
00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:40,314
like your Google homepage

218
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,935
app on your phone. What I mean is

219
00:07:42,935 --> 00:07:45,495
it I call them lottery based platforms. So

220
00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:48,294
any platform that is lottery based, meaning it's

221
00:07:48,294 --> 00:07:50,214
a lottery. It's just showing me whatever the

222
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:51,894
algorithm wants to show me. I have no

223
00:07:51,894 --> 00:07:52,875
say or control

224
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,980
over what they show me. We gotta be

225
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,819
careful with platforms like that because here's the

226
00:07:56,819 --> 00:07:57,300
thing.

227
00:07:57,779 --> 00:08:00,420
Come on. We you know, we sex sexual

228
00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:03,319
attraction, sexual desire is normal. It's healthy.

229
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:05,939
So if you see a you know, if

230
00:08:05,939 --> 00:08:08,420
if the social media platform chooses to show

231
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:11,194
you a woman who is, you know, in

232
00:08:11,194 --> 00:08:11,694
lingerie

233
00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:14,235
and, they wanna show that to you, I

234
00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:16,074
mean, you're gonna like it, and you're probably

235
00:08:16,074 --> 00:08:17,594
gonna look at it, and you're probably gonna

236
00:08:17,594 --> 00:08:18,794
look at it for a little bit longer

237
00:08:18,794 --> 00:08:20,555
than you would look at something that you're

238
00:08:20,555 --> 00:08:22,699
not interested in. Right? And even if it's

239
00:08:22,699 --> 00:08:23,899
just for a fraction of a second, but

240
00:08:23,899 --> 00:08:25,339
the problem with that is what what again,

241
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,939
what's that doing to my brain? Is that

242
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,220
gonna make me wanna look on it? Am

243
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:30,060
I gonna get on that platform more often

244
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,819
in hopes of them showing me more content

245
00:08:31,819 --> 00:08:33,500
like that? Right? And, again, that's a problem

246
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,675
with lottery based platform. So, that's a big

247
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:38,175
one that's in my middle circle is just,

248
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:40,154
you know, cut to the best of my

249
00:08:40,154 --> 00:08:41,695
ability, trying to avoid

250
00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:42,815
unpredictable

251
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:44,415
situations or unpredictable,

252
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:45,774
electronic,

253
00:08:46,795 --> 00:08:48,894
you know, you know, Internet access.

254
00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,299
Another one is social social

255
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,299
situations involving

256
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,080
alcohol consumption by others. So let's say I'm

257
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,160
somewhere and I'm not going to drink, but

258
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,500
everybody else around me might be drinking heavily.

259
00:09:01,804 --> 00:09:03,565
So this is middle circle. And if I'm

260
00:09:03,565 --> 00:09:04,924
going to this, you know, let's say I'm

261
00:09:04,924 --> 00:09:05,584
at a work

262
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:08,605
conference, it's it's it's about 10PM. I'm starting

263
00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,845
to notice that, you know, people are starting

264
00:09:10,845 --> 00:09:12,384
to get drunk. Right? There's there's,

265
00:09:13,644 --> 00:09:15,245
you know, it's it's it's crossed the line.

266
00:09:15,245 --> 00:09:16,944
It's not it's no longer a professional,

267
00:09:17,759 --> 00:09:19,920
interaction. It is now kind of turning into

268
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,680
a party. So that's gonna be something I'm

269
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,240
gonna watch. Right? And, if it starts looking

270
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,480
like it's really evolving from a networking event

271
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,560
and turning into a party, you know, I

272
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,080
wanna put that on my radar and that

273
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,235
might you know, I I might wanna, explore

274
00:09:32,294 --> 00:09:34,774
leaving soon before, you know, before this turns

275
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,475
into a potential risky situation.

276
00:09:37,095 --> 00:09:38,794
And, again, why would I call that risky?

277
00:09:38,855 --> 00:09:40,774
You know, for for a lot you know,

278
00:09:40,774 --> 00:09:42,934
for guys, right, can you if somebody was

279
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,289
coming to flirt with you, would you shut

280
00:09:45,289 --> 00:09:46,350
it down and leave

281
00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:47,230
ASAP,

282
00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:49,450
or would you sit there and drink it

283
00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:51,049
in and enjoy it a little bit? Right?

284
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,250
And, you know, we we just gotta be

285
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,690
careful about stuff like that. I think, you

286
00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:55,129
know, in our right mind, we all wanna

287
00:09:55,129 --> 00:09:56,970
say, oh, I wouldn't let that bother me.

288
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,514
Well, you know, just depends. Depends on the

289
00:09:59,514 --> 00:10:01,914
situation. Depends on, you know, does the woman

290
00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:04,235
meet your arousal template. Right? You know? So,

291
00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:06,315
you just wanna have your guard up before

292
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,634
those things happen so that when it starts

293
00:10:08,634 --> 00:10:10,389
to happen, you could say, yep. Yep. I

294
00:10:10,389 --> 00:10:11,909
knew this was gonna happen and I and

295
00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:12,889
I'm ready for it.

296
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,509
Another one in my middle circle is people

297
00:10:15,509 --> 00:10:16,009
pleasing.

298
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:16,870
So,

299
00:10:17,669 --> 00:10:20,649
minimizing my needs and commitments in favor

300
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:21,610
of being,

301
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:22,490
liked.

302
00:10:23,184 --> 00:10:24,705
And this is a massive problem for me

303
00:10:24,705 --> 00:10:26,705
and a lot of high achieving men. We

304
00:10:26,705 --> 00:10:29,745
like to please people. It's it's, something usually

305
00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:31,345
high achieving men are really, really good at.

306
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,205
But we gotta watch for that because,

307
00:10:33,585 --> 00:10:35,745
I know for me personally, my desire to

308
00:10:35,745 --> 00:10:38,990
impress and please others is is really high.

309
00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:41,230
And so it's not uncommon for me to

310
00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:43,490
compromise my morals and values

311
00:10:44,029 --> 00:10:47,149
to further impress them. And, you know, I

312
00:10:47,149 --> 00:10:49,389
really need to watch that. That is that

313
00:10:49,389 --> 00:10:51,230
is probably the root of a lot of

314
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,575
my sexual acting out.

315
00:10:53,535 --> 00:10:55,855
Lying to protect my image, or or even

316
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:58,415
exaggerating anything to protect my image or enhance

317
00:10:58,415 --> 00:10:59,075
my image.

318
00:10:59,774 --> 00:11:02,415
Avoiding feelings by obsessing about work. You know,

319
00:11:02,415 --> 00:11:03,855
again, a lot of high achievers will do

320
00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,855
this. I think we do it subconsciously. Right?

321
00:11:05,855 --> 00:11:07,794
We just prefer we prefer

322
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:11,570
operating in areas where we excel rather than

323
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,870
operating in areas where we don't. And so,

324
00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:16,590
just just watching that where I'm avoiding things.

325
00:11:16,590 --> 00:11:18,350
Because again, I don't want things to fester.

326
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,590
I don't want things to pile up. I

327
00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:22,429
I don't wanna ignore them. Right? That's part

328
00:11:22,429 --> 00:11:24,034
of my recovery is is facing them head

329
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:25,634
on and being honest with them and owning

330
00:11:25,634 --> 00:11:26,134
them.

331
00:11:26,995 --> 00:11:27,495
Avoiding,

332
00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:30,115
or no, I already said that. Objectifying women

333
00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:32,674
in public places or normal life situations. So,

334
00:11:32,674 --> 00:11:33,315
you know,

335
00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:35,634
are you taking a second look, third look,

336
00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:37,235
fourth look, fifth look. Right? Just kind of

337
00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:39,509
policing some of that stuff. Right? Like because

338
00:11:39,509 --> 00:11:41,990
again, I think, you know, again, sexual desire

339
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:44,549
and attraction is normal, but there is a

340
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:46,470
line at which, like, it's like, come on,

341
00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:49,029
bro. Like, you can't just keep staring at

342
00:11:49,029 --> 00:11:51,110
her. Right? She's not here for your pleasure.

343
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,029
She's here to work out. Right? So it's

344
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:55,294
just kind of, you know, watching that professional

345
00:11:55,355 --> 00:11:56,735
boundary and and rehumanizing,

346
00:11:57,514 --> 00:11:58,254
these women,

347
00:12:00,235 --> 00:12:02,735
which is my next one here. So dehumanizing

348
00:12:03,194 --> 00:12:05,514
myself and others by getting lost in the

349
00:12:05,514 --> 00:12:08,059
world rather than remembering that there's a true

350
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:09,899
authentic self inside of each and every one

351
00:12:09,899 --> 00:12:10,940
of us. So what do I mean by

352
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,899
that? What do I dehumanizing myself. So when

353
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,259
I dehumanize myself, I turn myself into a

354
00:12:17,259 --> 00:12:19,259
object. Now a lot of high achieving men

355
00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:21,215
do this. Right? We turn ourselves into,

356
00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:23,774
production machines, money making machines.

357
00:12:24,235 --> 00:12:26,394
You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna accomplish as

358
00:12:26,394 --> 00:12:27,674
many hard things as I can. I'm gonna

359
00:12:27,674 --> 00:12:29,595
make as much money as I can, and

360
00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:32,095
we basically stop thinking about our humanity,

361
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,379
our desires, our dreams, our and we just

362
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,660
focus completely on, you know, crushing it, killing

363
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:40,139
it, dominating, you know, winning, achieving, whatever it

364
00:12:40,139 --> 00:12:41,740
is. Right? So I I turn myself into

365
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,980
a doing, a machine that does rather than

366
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:44,475
a person.

367
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,115
And then, of course, objectifying others. Right? And

368
00:12:47,115 --> 00:12:48,654
this doesn't just include women.

369
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,174
This can be objectifying,

370
00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:53,355
men as well as seeing them as a

371
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,914
source of attention, a source of validation. Right?

372
00:12:56,074 --> 00:12:57,595
You know, I think I've shared this before

373
00:12:57,595 --> 00:12:58,815
in a couple other podcasts.

374
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,950
My one of my biggest,

375
00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:03,570
pieces of my addict my my addiction,

376
00:13:03,889 --> 00:13:05,649
if we wanna call it that or my

377
00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:06,149
compulsivity,

378
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,509
is is also in just impressing,

379
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:13,009
people altogether. I actually prefer to make men

380
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,230
envious of me

381
00:13:14,764 --> 00:13:17,644
over sex in women. I've had countless times

382
00:13:17,644 --> 00:13:19,485
where I'll be, you know, out at a

383
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:21,325
at a place where I probably could have

384
00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:23,245
slept with a female if I wanted to,

385
00:13:23,245 --> 00:13:25,664
and I chose to actually have that,

386
00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:26,945
you know, billionaire.

387
00:13:27,804 --> 00:13:29,804
You know, I I left with that person

388
00:13:29,804 --> 00:13:31,700
to go socialize, hang out, go to the

389
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:34,120
cigar bar. I I chose his attention

390
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,240
over, you know, sexual attention because, again,

391
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,539
you know, how important is the sexual attention?

392
00:13:39,539 --> 00:13:41,079
You can get that anywhere and everywhere.

393
00:13:41,459 --> 00:13:43,855
How often do you meet a billionaire who

394
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,534
is expressing an interest in in kind of

395
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,294
collaborating with you? Not as often. Right? And

396
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,514
so his attention meant more than her attention.

397
00:13:50,735 --> 00:13:52,414
Right? And so, you know, just kind of

398
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,054
being aware of these things. Right? You know,

399
00:13:55,054 --> 00:13:55,554
dehumanizing.

400
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,519
Because again, I wasn't going out to hang

401
00:13:58,519 --> 00:14:00,120
out with that billionaire because I liked him

402
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,960
as a person. I was dehumanizing him and

403
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,720
saw him as a way for me to

404
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:04,779
get ahead. Right?

405
00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:07,580
So just not dehumanizing yourself and others.

406
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,580
And then two last two here,

407
00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:12,995
this this these last two are huge for

408
00:14:12,995 --> 00:14:13,315
me.

409
00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:16,274
Cancellations are change in plans. One thing that

410
00:14:16,274 --> 00:14:17,735
I started noticing was,

411
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:20,754
a lot of my kind of, compulsive thoughts,

412
00:14:20,754 --> 00:14:23,634
addictive thoughts would spring up when my plans

413
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:25,634
were canceled, when somebody no showed a meeting,

414
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,470
when somebody, all of a sudden, I have

415
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,870
this hour and a half of just dead

416
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,350
wasted time, that would dysregulate me like crazy.

417
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:33,710
I don't like that. Right? I don't like

418
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:35,470
feeling behind. I don't want feeling like I'm

419
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:36,850
wasting time. I don't like,

420
00:14:37,549 --> 00:14:39,230
you know, feeling like, oh, I have this

421
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:41,149
grand plan to kind of, you know, to

422
00:14:41,149 --> 00:14:42,985
to to enhance my life, and now the

423
00:14:42,985 --> 00:14:44,825
plan's ruined. So now my life's gonna suck

424
00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:46,904
or I'm gonna be somebody's gonna pass me

425
00:14:46,904 --> 00:14:48,424
up and be better than me, whatever the

426
00:14:48,424 --> 00:14:50,825
kind of brain story is. That's a huge

427
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,345
one for me, and I just was gonna

428
00:14:52,345 --> 00:14:54,024
give that example to, you know, as you

429
00:14:54,024 --> 00:14:54,924
guys are watching

430
00:14:55,399 --> 00:14:57,980
when you start finding yourself getting to these,

431
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,059
kind of distracted or desperate,

432
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,240
places where you do find your compulsive mind

433
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,480
kind of speaking up, try to see if

434
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,000
you can find trends there. Because what I

435
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,784
found was, yeah, having having, being no showed,

436
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,784
having a cancellation of some kind, a meeting

437
00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:14,605
get canceled last minute, that stuff really dysregulated

438
00:15:14,824 --> 00:15:15,304
me,

439
00:15:16,345 --> 00:15:17,644
for a lot of different reasons.

440
00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:20,664
And then the last one was, I I

441
00:15:20,664 --> 00:15:21,964
I call it feeling egoic.

442
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:24,360
I'm not gonna get into what that means

443
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,720
right now. It's a huge in our in

444
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,500
our in my recovery groups,

445
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,040
this is a huge thing that I talk

446
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,660
about with all my clients is,

447
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,835
being egoic. Right? Being egoic means being, acting

448
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,235
like somebody who's not really you. Right? So

449
00:15:38,235 --> 00:15:40,634
acting like the high achiever, acting like the

450
00:15:40,634 --> 00:15:42,575
perfect business guy, acting like,

451
00:15:43,434 --> 00:15:43,934
the,

452
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:46,014
you know, shifting into some

453
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:48,014
alter ego of yours

454
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,559
that impresses people, gets attention,

455
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,539
you know, whatever. Basically, you you you stop

456
00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:56,940
being you and you start pretending to be

457
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,899
somebody else for for whatever reason. I gotta

458
00:15:59,899 --> 00:16:01,674
watch when I'm doing that because, again, the

459
00:16:01,674 --> 00:16:03,434
problem with a lot of the egos that

460
00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:04,095
I use,

461
00:16:04,554 --> 00:16:06,475
they don't value monogamy. They they don't care

462
00:16:06,475 --> 00:16:09,454
about my wife. They care about attention, pleasure,

463
00:16:09,995 --> 00:16:12,475
having this this, you know, really, life full

464
00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:14,554
of novel experiences. Right? They they do not

465
00:16:14,554 --> 00:16:15,914
care about my wife. They don't care about

466
00:16:15,914 --> 00:16:17,929
my commitments to my wife. They don't care

467
00:16:17,929 --> 00:16:19,289
about me a lot of the time. They

468
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:20,809
really just care about getting what they want.

469
00:16:20,809 --> 00:16:22,009
So I have to watch when I get

470
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:24,089
into those egoic states. So that's my middle

471
00:16:24,089 --> 00:16:27,529
circle. And then, lastly here is outer circle.

472
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,789
So what's outer circle? Outer circle is,

473
00:16:31,175 --> 00:16:34,795
doing things to that that doing healthy things

474
00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:35,675
that

475
00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:39,254
prevent you from all of those middle circle

476
00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:41,735
and inner circle activities. So it's pretty easy.

477
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,120
I'm just gonna rattle this list off here.

478
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,480
So I got the gym. The gym is

479
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,259
huge for me. I like to work out.

480
00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:48,480
It just keeps me in a healthy place,

481
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,480
so I gotta keep that in my life

482
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,639
regularly, and that also includes, you know, eating

483
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:54,959
eating clean and eating well. Golfing, you know,

484
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:56,559
I just I I like I like to

485
00:16:56,559 --> 00:16:58,465
golf. It it's it's, you know, I'm out

486
00:16:58,465 --> 00:17:00,384
in nature. I'm I'm working on a project.

487
00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:02,705
My brain's kinda focused on on improving my

488
00:17:02,705 --> 00:17:03,205
game.

489
00:17:03,585 --> 00:17:05,265
Hiking, I love to hike. My wife and

490
00:17:05,265 --> 00:17:06,565
I love to hike. We hike, you know,

491
00:17:07,265 --> 00:17:08,964
twenty, thirty miles a week,

492
00:17:09,265 --> 00:17:10,740
living here in Sedona, Arizona.

493
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,880
Being outside, I love being outside. If you

494
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,559
guys have seen pictures of my house, my

495
00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:15,940
house is hardly a house.

496
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,500
All I put windows everywhere,

497
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,559
and if they can open, great. So, you

498
00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:22,079
know, with a press press of a button,

499
00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:23,140
my house opens.

500
00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:26,664
60% of it opens, and it actually doesn't

501
00:17:26,664 --> 00:17:28,664
have walls. Right? I just love being outside.

502
00:17:28,664 --> 00:17:31,144
It's such a grounding feeling for me. Very,

503
00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:34,184
very, keeps keeps my sober mind active. Listening

504
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:34,845
to music.

505
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,144
I have we have whole house speakers in

506
00:17:37,144 --> 00:17:37,805
our house,

507
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,299
and I keep music on because it just

508
00:17:41,299 --> 00:17:43,859
does. It grounds me playing, you know, piano

509
00:17:43,859 --> 00:17:44,359
music,

510
00:17:44,819 --> 00:17:45,880
ambient music,

511
00:17:46,419 --> 00:17:48,740
you know, meditation style of music. Just having

512
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,119
it playing in the house, just

513
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,054
something about it just makes me not feel

514
00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:54,815
alone. I feel I feel kind of grounded

515
00:17:54,815 --> 00:17:55,794
and in my body.

516
00:17:56,255 --> 00:17:56,755
Meditation,

517
00:17:57,694 --> 00:17:59,454
anytime I'm like I find, like, a really

518
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,775
busy day, try to integrate a couple sessions

519
00:18:01,775 --> 00:18:04,429
of, like, ten minute, meditation rounds just to

520
00:18:04,429 --> 00:18:06,190
to keep myself again from spinning out and

521
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:07,089
becoming egoic.

522
00:18:08,269 --> 00:18:10,990
Taking the time to plan and write. A

523
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,509
lot of times, you know, unless the high

524
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,349
achievers we have, we don't we don't have

525
00:18:14,349 --> 00:18:16,670
this very predictable nine to five job. Right?

526
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,605
We have tasks, projects, things we have to

527
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:20,524
do. And so just making sure I'm taking

528
00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:22,365
the time to sit down and and make

529
00:18:22,365 --> 00:18:24,365
a plan and and and journal and write

530
00:18:24,365 --> 00:18:26,684
and brainstorm. You know, I I find sometimes,

531
00:18:26,684 --> 00:18:27,964
you know, again, I get in like this

532
00:18:27,964 --> 00:18:28,784
doing mode

533
00:18:29,085 --> 00:18:31,740
and that can be dangerous for me sometimes.

534
00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:33,500
So, taking the time to plan.

535
00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:37,240
Vulnerable moments and intimate moments with my wife

536
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,980
are incredibly grounding and incredibly sobering for me.

537
00:18:40,679 --> 00:18:42,619
Intimate moments with support groups.

538
00:18:43,015 --> 00:18:46,134
Right? So that, I can be seen by

539
00:18:46,134 --> 00:18:48,375
these men and they can, and I can

540
00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,115
see them,

541
00:18:49,494 --> 00:18:51,734
and and have like a real vulnerable connection

542
00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:53,414
with men. I mean, that is I mean,

543
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:54,775
that probably should be first on the list

544
00:18:54,775 --> 00:18:55,835
of the most grounding.

545
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,450
You know, one I wrote was actually watching

546
00:18:59,450 --> 00:18:59,929
TV.

547
00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:02,250
I can sometimes put on a show that

548
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:03,690
I really, really like or movie I like,

549
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:05,450
and it can kind of, ground me and

550
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:07,230
pull me out of that kind of weird,

551
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:08,990
compulsive thinking.

552
00:19:09,684 --> 00:19:11,765
And then the other one is, placing your

553
00:19:11,765 --> 00:19:13,465
phone in another room.

554
00:19:14,164 --> 00:19:16,164
You know, I I haven't had a huge

555
00:19:16,164 --> 00:19:18,325
issue with, like, pornography and all that stuff.

556
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,525
It just wasn't a massive,

557
00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:21,144
thing for me personally.

558
00:19:22,309 --> 00:19:24,390
However, if you get into those moments and

559
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,630
you find yourself kinda like screwing around on

560
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:29,029
your devices just hoping to kind of see

561
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:31,589
something, careful. That can that can pretty easily

562
00:19:31,589 --> 00:19:33,509
turn into something sexual if you're not watching

563
00:19:33,509 --> 00:19:35,509
out. So, so don't do that. You know,

564
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,544
come home, put your phone on silent, and

565
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,744
throw it throw it in the drawer. I

566
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,105
mean, this you know, that really has nothing

567
00:19:40,105 --> 00:19:42,265
to do necessarily with sobriety. That just has

568
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,944
to do with just enhancing your life. Right?

569
00:19:43,944 --> 00:19:45,625
We don't need to be wasting our time

570
00:19:45,625 --> 00:19:47,464
staring at stupid crap on our phones. Right?

571
00:19:47,464 --> 00:19:47,964
So,

572
00:19:48,265 --> 00:19:48,845
so anyways,

573
00:19:49,349 --> 00:19:50,789
this is the three circle plan. I like

574
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,230
it. You know, it's a like I said,

575
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:53,349
I'm not I'm not into a lot of

576
00:19:53,349 --> 00:19:55,109
this kind of stuff when it comes to

577
00:19:55,109 --> 00:19:57,269
recovery. You know, I'm a very science based

578
00:19:57,269 --> 00:19:59,109
practical kind of guy. But again, we need

579
00:19:59,109 --> 00:20:00,710
a plan. We need some sort of reference.

580
00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:01,990
And if you're listening to this and you're

581
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:04,075
married, you know, showing your wife these three

582
00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:06,075
circles and having a very robust kind of

583
00:20:06,075 --> 00:20:07,835
thought out plan like this, again, it's it's

584
00:20:07,835 --> 00:20:09,595
really nice for her to know that you're

585
00:20:09,595 --> 00:20:10,414
being aware

586
00:20:10,715 --> 00:20:11,775
of how to avoid

587
00:20:12,154 --> 00:20:14,235
relapse, how to avoid slips. And, you know,

588
00:20:14,235 --> 00:20:15,595
nice to for her to know that, hey,

589
00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:17,195
if I do some any of these things,

590
00:20:17,195 --> 00:20:18,976
I'm gonna tell you. It's part of my

591
00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:20,809
it's part of my plan is these are

592
00:20:20,809 --> 00:20:22,643
what I would call a relapse, and I'm

593
00:20:22,643 --> 00:20:24,476
gonna disclose this to you when those things

594
00:20:24,476 --> 00:20:26,538
happen. So, you know, it's it's worth taking

595
00:20:26,538 --> 00:20:28,372
the time to sit down and create a

596
00:20:28,372 --> 00:20:30,434
document like this and, have your have your

597
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:32,267
peer support group, your recovery group take a

598
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:34,474
peek at it, have your therapist take a

599
00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:36,154
peek at it, and then when it's ready,

600
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:37,214
you know, show your wife.

601
00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:40,234
Thanks for listening to this episode. If you

602
00:20:40,234 --> 00:20:41,994
are a high achiever of the sex addiction

603
00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,674
and you're looking for a recovery group full

604
00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:46,900
of like minded men, visit successaddict.com.

605
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,700
We provide men with a recovery mastermind group

606
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:50,920
using four day retreats,

607
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:54,119
weekly group calls, and daily accountability check ins.

608
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,340
If you wanna achieve long term sobriety and

609
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,259
save your marriage, go to our website and

610
00:20:58,259 --> 00:20:59,160
fill out our application.

611
00:20:59,539 --> 00:21:01,985
If you enjoyed this episode, please pass it

612
00:21:01,985 --> 00:21:03,585
along to a friend in recovery who would

613
00:21:03,585 --> 00:21:05,505
benefit from listening. It is my mission to

614
00:21:05,505 --> 00:21:07,265
get this information out to as many high

615
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:09,505
achievers as possible, and I can't do it

616
00:21:09,505 --> 00:21:10,565
without your help.