Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith join me on this episode to talk about how to create a thriving marriage after infidelity. There’s a ton of information out there about sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. But,... Continue

What is “good recovery,” and how do you know if you’re doing it? It’s a question that most guys often ask themselves. Which is unfortunate, because I feel like this is something that should be... Continue

Working with high-achievers and entrepreneurs, there are definite differences between these men and the general population. These differences require a unique approach when it comes to sex addiction recovery. Sex addiction is a process addiction,... Continue

The sex addiction field has the crisis phase dialed in. We know exactly what to do to save your marriage and begin the healing process. But… then what? This is where things start to get... Continue

Your Recovery, Her Recovery, Marital Recovery, Healthy Sexuality… How do you heal when this is so complex? Dr. Laney Knowlton is working hard to help couples tackle all of the aspects necessary to thrive after... Continue

You’ll see these ads for courses, books, and programs that claim to get guys sober from their sex or porn addiction in “30 days.” “The revolutionary formula to quit porn for good.” I’m sorry… but... Continue

Shame halts recovery. But, not all shame is created equal. Successful men are typically in positions of influence. They are either directly in charge of leading others. Or, they are admired and looked up to.... Continue

With a 64% chance of relapse… it’s clear that most sex addicts are missing something.  Changing the brain… This is probably the biggest void in the sex addiction field. What is actually required to change... Continue

What if everything you know about empathy is wrong? When I met Stevie Hall, I knew that she was onto something big. Stevie has been researching empathy and breaks it down into 3 parts that... Continue

I’m not that shocked at what these men are doing in their sex addiction… If anything, I’m shocked more men aren’t doing it. Women are raised looking for a partner who will preserve the sexual... Continue

Does abstinence work? What if we are too zoomed in on the unwanted sexual behavior? The challenge with the word “recovery” is that people assume there is a point where you become “recovered.” But, when... Continue

There’s this problem in the sex and porn addiction space… People treat it like a substance addiction, but it’s not. Recovering from a process addiction is very different from recovering from a chemical dependency on... Continue

Sexual betrayal will turn your wife's world upside down. She will experience significant trauma for years after she discovers your sex addiction.  Intrusive thoughts, graphic images of you with other women, total body trauma responses…... Continue

We claim to value monogamy and committed relationships… but, do our actions line up with that? Desire and attraction are baked into our DNA. Nothing you can do will change that. So, what are you... Continue

Dan Drake is well known in the sex addiction space for his workbook that men and women use during the “Full Therapeutic Disclosure” process. A full therapeutic disclosure is a process where the cheating partner... Continue

Your wife has the right to be mad about whatever she wants to be mad about. Comparing your acting out to another guy's acting out is irrelevant. The issue is the deception. Being married to... Continue

All wives wish they could help their husbands feel the pain of being betrayed. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to imagine the hurt that infidelity brings. In this episode, Vanessa Cardenas and I discuss... Continue

Sobriety and Recovery are totally different things. Sobriety is protecting yourself from unwanted behavior. Recovery is getting to a place where you no longer need protection. To me, most men are working a sobriety plan,... Continue

Has your wife asked you the dreaded question: “Are you even in good recovery?” Geoff Steurer is one of the most well-known names in the sex addiction and infidelity space. His podcast is one of... Continue

To overcome a sex addiction you need: Connection with like-minded men who you meet with consistently Accountability and a 24/7 support platform A group of men who you admire and look up to Here’s the... Continue

Sex addiction is classified as a process addiction. Process addiction is very different from substance addiction as your thoughts have everything to do with how addicted you will become. What’s the cure… Self-Mastery. In this... Continue

The sex addiction field is largely a copy-and-paste of substance addiction. While the sex/porn addiction field has made a lot of progress recently, a lot of work still needs to be done. Does abstinence-based treatment... Continue

Scott Cone and Chris Inman run a sex and porn addiction coaching program for Christian men.  In this episode, we discuss the aspect of Christianity as it pertains to sex addiction. We also talk about... Continue

Relapse is a dreaded word in the sex addiction world. If you're lucky, your wife will give you another chance. But, typically a second chance is all they will give you. Third or fourth chances... Continue

This episode takes a different approach compared to my usual format. I chose a question-and-answer style to give my guest the opportunity to address some of the more debated and controversial aspects of sex addiction.... Continue

Sex addiction seems to sneak up on people. But, what if you could stop it? What if you could feel it coming so early that you were able to prevent it from happening? Somatic Experiencing... Continue

Your wife isn't enough to keep you sober… Your kids aren't enough… even God isn’t enough. If they were enough, many of my clients would have been sober a long time ago. For high-achieving men,... Continue

From ages 12-25, young men are sucked into a sexual world. The belief is formed that sex and women are a scarce commodity. This “scarcity” often causes men to pursue sex and women before their... Continue

Surrender... Every sex and porn addict has heard that word before. But, what does it mean? How do you do it? Why is it so important to surrender if you want to overcome sex addiction?... Continue

Sex addicts are typically people pleasers. Successful men are usually successful because of their ability to please others. The problem is that they tend to prioritize pleasing others over pleasing themselves. This leads to coping,... Continue

Sex addiction is what is called a “process addiction,” meaning that the dopamine comes from thinking. If you want to beat this addiction, you need to change the way you think. Lara Dye (PhD and... Continue

There’s an obsession with triggers in the sex addiction industry. But, it’s not that linear. Rarely is a trigger sexual. Yet, there’s this focus in the sex addiction industry on arousal templates and men being... Continue

There is always a reason ‘why’ a sex addict becomes an addict. Understanding your ‘why’ makes sobriety easier to maintain. However, with sex addiction, there’s much more than just WHY you do it that makes... Continue

Sex and Porn Addiction is not about sex and pornography. It is all about the story attached to the behavior. Most sex addicts have no idea what these stories are. As a result, stopping these... Continue

Carol Juergensen Sheets is considered by many to be the "grandmother" of sex addiction. Her book, "Help Her Heal," is used by thousands of couples all over the world. Sex and porn addicts have a... Continue

As a high-achiever and entrepreneur, I’ve always taken an issue with step 1 of the twelve steps: “We admitted we were powerless.” I believe this is one of the reasons why so many men struggle... Continue

Betrayal trauma adds a complex layer to relational recovery. Sex and porn addiction takes a toll on the betrayed partner and they will need specific things to heal the marriage and rebuild trust. Empathy for... Continue

Sex and porn addiction happen in an environment that allows them to happen. Often, men try to “stop.” But, stopping something that your brain wants to do is quite difficult. There is a reason that... Continue

There are a ton of resources, podcasts, and books about making it through the initial crisis following sexual betrayal. But, there's hardly anything about thriving as a couple after betrayal. My clients are high-achievers who... Continue

If you have a sex or porn addiction, then you've heard about the shame/acting-out cycle. But, can you break the cycle if you don't understand shame and how it works? Troy Love is a Psychotherapist,... Continue

Humans are hard-wired to succeed. But, what is success? Is it money? Is it being able to get any woman you want? Is it being wanted and lusted after? Sex and porn addiction is not... Continue

We know that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety… It's connection. Here’s the problem though… connection is complex. Every sex addiction therapist, counselor, podcast, book, and YouTube video will tell you to connect with... Continue

Relapsing as a sex addict has significant consequences. You could end up divorced, ruining your relationship with your kids, and possibly unable to stay in a committed relationship. Jason VanRuler (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) works... Continue

You've probably heard that "childhood trauma" is the leading cause of sex addiction. But, what is childhood trauma? And, what are you supposed to do about it? Trauma is not just physical abuse, sexual abuse,... Continue

Connection is everything in sex addiction recovery. But, what if you can’t find men that you connect with? Just because you are in a room or on Zoom with a bunch of guys doesn’t mean... Continue

Is sex or porn addiction really the right word? You can be the judge after listening to this episode. Compulsive sexual behavior can have many causes ranging from societal influence, successful male culture, unmet needs,... Continue

Many successful men struggle with sex addiction, porn addiction, and having affairs. While many of them seek treatment, a full recovery from sex addiction requires a significant commitment. Duane Osterlind and I map out what... Continue

Can you activate your sex addiction without violating your sobriety? In this episode, I share with listeners how I was able to get “sober” for 7 years only to discover that I was actually in... Continue

Men often hit a point in their sex addiction recovery where they get stuck. They begin losing motivation, their marriage starts to struggle again, and therapy starts to feel repetitive as if no more progress... Continue

Sex addiction is what is called a process addiction. If you truly want to achieve long-term sobriety, you need to understand what this means for you and your specific compulsive sexual behaviors. Every guy's sex... Continue

Sex and porn addicts must disconnect from themselves in order for them to do what they do. People who are connected to their purpose, needs, desires, and emotions typically do not become sex and porn... Continue

Sex and pornography addiction is different for high-achievers and entrepreneurs. Their brains operate differently from the rest of the population. Therefore, their recovery will also be unique. Like most things in this world, the majority... Continue